I Want to Be Happy

I often find myself in situations where I experience true or real happiness for just a moment. I won't say second, but it does go away just as fast it came. I catch myself evaluating that moment and thinking at what point did it start, when did I feel it, and when did it leave. I also think to myself how did I allow it to happen? How did I just enjoy the moment? Did I enjoy the moment? And how can I get it back? I want to be happy, but I don't know how to let it just happen without picking it apart and second guessing my feelings. I hate that question, "what makes you happy?" I never know how to answer. This feeling of happy is so fleeting, that I never know I've experienced it until it's gone. I always remember smiling from ear to ear, and laughing at nothing. I want to be happy. I want the negative thoughts to go away. I want my fear of emotional harm to go away. I want to be completely taken over by this feeling, and to experience it knowing that this is what it is. I want to hold on to this feeling for longer than a tiny rare moment. I want to be happy.