I Want to Be Positive About Life
I am trying. I will continue trying harder - but I am pretty far from perfect. My past has really caused me a lot of heartache and trouble, and I'm not the best at 'letting that go.'
I know I need to though.
I have always felt a bit out of place. When growing up, I always felt like a 'clique jumper,' rather than someone who belonged specifically to any group. I can get along with geeky kids - and I feel like I'm a geeky kid too. I get along fine with rednecks and country-folk; and I feel like them too. Then I can hang out with the druggy folks, the poor folks, the wealthier folks (I never FEEL like them though), the honest folks, the dishonest folks, the old people, or the young; etc.
I never felt really 'at home' with any of the groups though. I always want everyone to like me, and so I try hard to do that with every person individually. I don't need their approval so badly that I pretend to be someone else, or I lie, or do other silly things - I just am myself and I try to be kind, generous, empathetic, and diplomatic. I have been doing this for a very long time, and I have really just become a well-liked hermit.
I have a lot of neighbor's, since I live in an apartment complex. I have lived there for over 5 years now, and over that time many neighbor's have come and gone. I always try to be helpful, I offer my assistance frequently and I also mention I have tools to lend-out, if they are desired by neighbor's. I like being helpful, and many of them have shown me kindness, and trust over the years. I have at least 3 keys to DIFFERENT apartments in my apartment. Neighbor's seem to want to give me a key, for "just in case." This has come in handy, but it hasn't been a 'life-saver' for anyone yet. I do like that people feel this trust in me, and that they show it.
I also get many phone calls from neighbor's. If someone has an issue, they usually call me. They will then say, "Should I call and tell the landlord too?" - it's pretty interesting.
Just the last two examples - one neighbor called - she is a mom of a 1 year old baby, and her husband was at work. She told me some strangers were at the bottom of her stairs, and drinking sodas and putting in eye drops repeatedly. She thought they were maybe doing drugs too - and she didn't want to say anything to them. Just in case they turned out to be crazy - she was alone with her baby and didn't want to invite any trouble. So, I just went over and told them it wasn't the best place to be hanging out. No trouble at all...
Before that, my other neighbor needed my help. He is blind and so he needs some extra help now and again. I often give him rides to places like the bank, or the grocery store... Things like that. He just needed me to bring him to the school where is son goes - apparently his son had gotten into a fight, and he had to go have a chat with the principal.
Just little things like that. I also am the unofficial handyman, and the property manager (who I also pay rent to) is always giving me more work. Roof leaks, or other problems. Bees, squirrels, broken stairs, etc. It's just always little things.
I just wish I could find a place to belong. Maybe I should have joined the military or something when I was young. It's too late for that now - I don't think they take 35 year old sad guys, lol...
I would love to fly a jet though. I actually looked into the military for a little bit - and I would have qualified to do that, according to some ASFAB test, or something like that...
With my luck, someone would have forgotten to stamp a form and I would have ended up the toilet cleaner instead of a jet pilot....
I know I need to though.
I have always felt a bit out of place. When growing up, I always felt like a 'clique jumper,' rather than someone who belonged specifically to any group. I can get along with geeky kids - and I feel like I'm a geeky kid too. I get along fine with rednecks and country-folk; and I feel like them too. Then I can hang out with the druggy folks, the poor folks, the wealthier folks (I never FEEL like them though), the honest folks, the dishonest folks, the old people, or the young; etc.
I never felt really 'at home' with any of the groups though. I always want everyone to like me, and so I try hard to do that with every person individually. I don't need their approval so badly that I pretend to be someone else, or I lie, or do other silly things - I just am myself and I try to be kind, generous, empathetic, and diplomatic. I have been doing this for a very long time, and I have really just become a well-liked hermit.
I have a lot of neighbor's, since I live in an apartment complex. I have lived there for over 5 years now, and over that time many neighbor's have come and gone. I always try to be helpful, I offer my assistance frequently and I also mention I have tools to lend-out, if they are desired by neighbor's. I like being helpful, and many of them have shown me kindness, and trust over the years. I have at least 3 keys to DIFFERENT apartments in my apartment. Neighbor's seem to want to give me a key, for "just in case." This has come in handy, but it hasn't been a 'life-saver' for anyone yet. I do like that people feel this trust in me, and that they show it.
I also get many phone calls from neighbor's. If someone has an issue, they usually call me. They will then say, "Should I call and tell the landlord too?" - it's pretty interesting.
Just the last two examples - one neighbor called - she is a mom of a 1 year old baby, and her husband was at work. She told me some strangers were at the bottom of her stairs, and drinking sodas and putting in eye drops repeatedly. She thought they were maybe doing drugs too - and she didn't want to say anything to them. Just in case they turned out to be crazy - she was alone with her baby and didn't want to invite any trouble. So, I just went over and told them it wasn't the best place to be hanging out. No trouble at all...
Before that, my other neighbor needed my help. He is blind and so he needs some extra help now and again. I often give him rides to places like the bank, or the grocery store... Things like that. He just needed me to bring him to the school where is son goes - apparently his son had gotten into a fight, and he had to go have a chat with the principal.
Just little things like that. I also am the unofficial handyman, and the property manager (who I also pay rent to) is always giving me more work. Roof leaks, or other problems. Bees, squirrels, broken stairs, etc. It's just always little things.
I just wish I could find a place to belong. Maybe I should have joined the military or something when I was young. It's too late for that now - I don't think they take 35 year old sad guys, lol...
I would love to fly a jet though. I actually looked into the military for a little bit - and I would have qualified to do that, according to some ASFAB test, or something like that...
With my luck, someone would have forgotten to stamp a form and I would have ended up the toilet cleaner instead of a jet pilot....
