Thoughts on long distance relationships? [I Am Trying to Find Happiness]
I mean good friend or more. I've tried but it never seems to last as friends or as partners
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PirateMonkeyCabinet · 36-40, M
It ain't for everyone, but it works for some. It requires certain kinds of mindsets on both parties for it to work, and there are other considerations that need to be made too. There will always be a lot of sacrifice involved, and requires quite large amounts of trust. If, for instance, one of you has a high level of craving for the physical aspects of a relationship then it won't work. If none of you have the economic power to actually visit each other over time chances are things will fall apart. Summed up, not impossible, but not easy.
PirateMonkeyCabinet · 36-40, M
@Manabell You're welcome!
I realize that my initial post focused almost solely on the negatives. Yes, there are many potential pitfalls, but I do want to emphasise that it isn't entirely impossible.
Many years ago I had one, and while it was quite taxing we made it work. A bit fuzzy on the dates since it is so long ago, but I think we were an LDR for over a year before I finally moved there.
As some have said, setting goals and long-term plans can help. While things don't always work out as we plan, saying for instance something like "our goal is that, if we get this to work, we'll move together in 2022". It gives you something to work towards and it may make it seem like it won't be forever until you reach the point of being together proper.
And there are certain mindsets who can work better when there is some distance. Some people need their personal time and space, and with an LDR it gives you ample amounts of that. While not that common, there are those who choose to eventually move close to each other but not move together as it allows them their alone time in a way living together won't.
At the end of the day, it's something only you and those you have in mind can figure out.
I realize that my initial post focused almost solely on the negatives. Yes, there are many potential pitfalls, but I do want to emphasise that it isn't entirely impossible.
Many years ago I had one, and while it was quite taxing we made it work. A bit fuzzy on the dates since it is so long ago, but I think we were an LDR for over a year before I finally moved there.
As some have said, setting goals and long-term plans can help. While things don't always work out as we plan, saying for instance something like "our goal is that, if we get this to work, we'll move together in 2022". It gives you something to work towards and it may make it seem like it won't be forever until you reach the point of being together proper.
And there are certain mindsets who can work better when there is some distance. Some people need their personal time and space, and with an LDR it gives you ample amounts of that. While not that common, there are those who choose to eventually move close to each other but not move together as it allows them their alone time in a way living together won't.
At the end of the day, it's something only you and those you have in mind can figure out.
PirateMonkeyCabinet · 36-40, M
@Manabell Thank you! 😊 I hope that whatever path you end up choosing, it'll eventually be one that leads you to happiness.