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I Envy Others Happiness

As if depression isn’t hard enough to cope with. I’m still having such a hard time trying to adjust to being on my own.
I got married and had my kids in my 20’s. My eldest is now 15 but all my friends are buying houses, getting married and having babies. They are all in that exciting part where all the fun is still ahead. I just can’t muster the energy to be happy for them. My older friends keep posting about their 20th, 30th anniversaries etc. I feel such an overwhelming saddness for how empty my life feels and so jealous that they have what I want so desperately.
No matter what was going on in my life, I’ve always found joy in my friends’ achievements. Now it’s like some weird ass paranoia that they’re only doing these things to spite me. It’s insane and I hate feeling this way. I’ve never been the jealous type before. How the hell do I stop it?
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In time, you will have the same person in your life, but you must let go of the one occupying your heart and mind first.

Hugs.
Bleed · 41-45, F
Thanks. I’ve had some counselling but I just can’t get him out of my heart or my head. It’s the 2nd long term relationship that’s ended that’s left me and my kids homeless and I’ve had to start all over again. My ex husband was a selfish prick but this ex was so kind, thoughtful and selfless... if HE can turn round and treat me like this.... I don’t know if i’ll ever be able to trust anyone else 😔
solitaire · 41-45, F
I understand how you feel. I fell for a man 17 years older than me after my divorce. He was nice to me in the beginning but now I’ve realised that he was probably stringing me along and using me for sex. Please read my last post in my profile. Awful that someone who claimed to care for me would treat me this way :(