Raising these dogs feels like the only thing I've ever been good at

There are times where the amount of time and energy I dedicate to my dogs make me wonder if I'll ever have a social life. So much of my itinerary revolves around making sure my dogs get exercise and spend enough time outdoors. It works for me as well, since being outside and active is good for one's mental health.

The biggest downside is that it's a major time constraint which crowds out opportunities to indulge in hobbies, to express my creativity, to consume media, to explore public places, or to workout. It's a constant juggling act to make sure I make enough time for these things, but it's never quite enough.

Still, I'm a dedicated dog dad and I'll gladly sacrifice my time for their happiness. It can be a chore at times, but I always feel rewarded when I can see those big, goofy, slobber-packed smiles of theirs; their tongues flopping like a dying fish to voice their approval.

Today was one such day that I took my dogs out to meet their fitness needs at the local dog park. It's a fairly popular area, so it's always a revolving door of people coming and going. The result being that you end up saying hello and good-bye a lot to people.

As one of the other dog owners was leaving, we were saying our farewells when he made the parting remark
Now it's not anywhere close to the first time that someone has complimented my dogs, but it was the only time that a grumpy old man complimented them.

To paint a picture, he struck me as the kind of jaded old man that spends most of his activity online criticizing the younger generations and talking about how much better things were in his day. He's probably the kind of callous that only laughs when other people get hurt. He has the personality of someone that's been molded by decades of watching the late night news' obsession with conflict and violence.

To make a long story short, he's not a naturally warm person. Something I can unfortunately relate to. Which is why it struck me so hard that he would swallow his contempt for humanity for a few moments to compliment my dogs after the brief interaction we shared. It was something his cold heart would have had to deeply feel to bother giving it a voice.

And while it's very possible that I'm projecting all of these traits onto him, still, the compliment impacted me rather profoundly. It made me feel like there was something I've finally applied myself successfully in. Where I dedicated my passion towards the cause of raising these dogs, and it paid off by having them bring joy to others. I finally accepted the idea that maybe I do have place and purpose on this earth, and it's thanks to two lovable little dimwitted fleabags.

It makes me wonder if this is but a stepping stone towards something greater. Like maybe I needed to learn how to love so that I could take this lesson of love and apply it towards another cause. A love that required many years of hardship to cultivate before it could finally be harvested. It's inspiring to ponder the possibilities of this fully realized patience and compassion by applying it in a field where it could benefit the most.

I've been stuck in dead end jobs for many years now and I can't help but wonder what the next step for me is. I've always been a capable and efficient person. My problem, I think, has primarily been spending years focusing on myself as a defense to ward off the pangs of social isolation.

But I realize now that I am an intrinsically caring being and that my purpose in life is to help, to support, to nurture, and to protect others. I realize now how I've spent a lot of my life hiding my caring nature out of fear of being used and abused. I maintained my distance so no one could ever get close enough to hurt me.

I feel like I am no longer ruled by that fear, because I know I have a good thing going on here. I get to hang out with my best friends every day. I get to breathe fresh air and walk among the trees. I get to feel the wind in my hair and sun on my face and soft fur at my fingertips. Their smells could use some improvement however. Still, I can come home at any point and everything will feel alright.

Maybe the world hardened me so that I could be a rock for those around me. That if I could help transform these dogs' fears into happiness, maybe I could help other people get past theirs to do the same. Maybe it's just pretentious AF to exalt myself like this, but I really feel like I'm finally doing what I'm supposed to be doing. Like I've found my calling. I think people are starting to receive me well enough, and hopefully I could bring peace to their lives the same way these dogs have brough peace to mine.