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Are you truly happy?

If so, what's the secret sauce lol.

I seem to be getting pepper sprayed everytime I'm close to happiness 馃榾
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SW-User
Yeah ..actually...it took a lot of soul searching and digging deep
Beatbox3431-35, M
@SW-User Sounds deep.

I'm glad though.
SW-User
@Beatbox34 It's taking me years ..
It is deep and not very pretty but it was necessary
Beatbox3431-35, M
@SW-User I want to be honest. I don't need the materialistic things in life at this point.

The older I've gotten. I've realised that nothing actually matters. People lie and that's a never ending scam. But to find a needle in a haystack is pretty nice. I just wished someone genuinely cared, you know. Not seeking money or shit. But it's never gonna happen. Meh. So I lost hope and I don't really care about anyone anymore.
SW-User
@Beatbox34 your happiness has little to do with others and more about you . I think it's about acceptance of yourself...making peace with your past . Knowing who you are . What you are willing to tolerate and not tolerate. Respect for yourself will turn to love for yourself. It's not easy and for me is an ongoing journey...I hope you find it within yourself.
Beatbox3431-35, M
@SW-User I completely get it.

I'm just tired. I wake up feeling empty. There are people telling me to just love myself. I'm trying that. I'm living a life in solitude for the most part. I am happy with how I am. I don't need to fix myself for anyone. But it does suck when you try so hard to bring a smile to someone's face and they don't even care if you're alive.

But then again. I chose to ignore it. Keep my expectations low.
SW-User
@Beatbox34 You are lonely ..I get it. .volunteering can help ...if you are able to do that ...it feels good to help others in some way ..also pets ...they love unconditionally and can make great companions ...I'm sorry i hope this helps
Beatbox3431-35, M
@SW-User It's all good. I've always been lonely. I'm not sad about it.

I'm just sad when the same cycle repeats again and I keep feeling this is all I deserve.

Don't worry. It's all cool. I ain't staying long enough to remember any of this 馃檪