I Am Going to Say Something Controversial
I wrote a story recently about the racial divide in America, and a lot of related subjects. The story came from a perspective that was very far from the racist side of the divide... but also very far from the opposite extreme of that divide. It committed the cardinal sin of being in the middle, and saying "sometimes this, sometimes that". I talked about my own perspective, and where it came from. To the best of my ability, I tried to step around my own biases and passions and gut reactions, in order to find the truth, as best I could understand it, and to put it out there in a way that made it possible for people on either extreme to engage me in real dialogue - the kind of dialogue that moves things away from the rigid, passionate extremes and closer to the middle, which is almost always where the real truth lies.
And I knew full well what kinds of responses I'd get from it. Human nature is very, very consistent with these kinds of things. But, underneath that knowledge, there was still a part of me that hoped that at least one person would be willing to engage me in real dialogue. That at least one person would be willing to truly consider what I had written, and then agree and disagree with all the different parts of it based on their merits, and then have a real discussion with me about it - a discussion that searched for the truth, instead of trying to prove the rightness of each side's preexisting beliefs.
That's what a stubbornly, stupidly rigid part of my heart was hoping for - but what actually happened is that not a single person was willing to discuss the content of what I had said. Not a single person was willing to argue against literally any of my points or evidence or experiences, aside from choosing just one to utterly reject (without actually arguing for why I was wrong).
I saw a show once where a cop went to speak at a college full of students who hated cops. And before he even spoke, the students started chanting some slogan or other at him, shouting him down and keeping him from being able to say a word. He had no choice but to leave without speaking. And the students were so, so proud of themselves for "winning" against the "horrible bad guy" who would have otherwise dared to say things that weren't in line with what they already believed.
When you reject the other side utterly without considering anything that they say, and then they inevitably do the same thing to you... can any of you understand how destructive that is? How little progress can be made in the midst of that kind of hateful war? It's a great way to be, if your goal is for your tribe to beat the other tribe to death with rocks. But if you're trying for any kind of goal that involves peace or love or goodness or understanding...
I heard a great quote once - it went something like "those who fight against the evil rather than fighting for the good run a terrible risk of becoming the evil."
And that's exactly what I've seen happen in recent years - what used to be so clearly good guys vs bad guys - non-racists vs racists - has become this cesspool of rigid zealots and bullies on both sides. The racists are as sick and destructive as ever - but now the more extreme, zealous people on the other side beat me to a bloody pulp every time that I dare to suggest that their farthest-possible-extreme viewpoints (and the ends-justify-the-means, bad-behavior-for-a-good-cause methods of pushing for those viewpoints) might take things too far.
The racists never beat me bloody like that - like republicans living in a super liberal area, they learned long ago to be quiet about their beliefs, and only talk about them when there were like-minded people around.
So I end up personally experiencing no bad behavior or bullying from racists - not because they aren't bullies and bad guys, but because they don't specifically bully or act badly toward me - but then I personally experience a whole slew of hateful behavior from the other side. A side that, when I was a kid, were so obviously, clearly the good guys - but they aren't anymore. One side leaves me alone, and the other side beats me bloody... so I ask you - what direction do you think that's going to move me in? Which side do you think that's going to make me so disgusted with that I want to fight against it, even if it means moving closer to the other side?
It amazes the hell out of me that someone like Martin Luther King was actually able to exist and to build such a huge following - a guy who was somehow able to take all of that anger and frustration, and to get people to defy their natures and to actually channel it in the direction of love. In the direction of changing the hearts of the other side, instead of screaming at the other side and throwing rocks at them. How the hell did he even do it? How in the world could he take human nature - a nature that seems to only know how to rigidly divide and then punch the other side in the face - and turn it in a direction designed not to destroy the other side, but to teach their hearts and their minds to feel love and compassion in new ways. To build bridges, instead of burning them. To answer hate with love, and thereby destroy that hate, rather than answering hate with hate, and thus encouraging both sides to hate all the more.
I see none of that now, amid the viciousness and zealotry and bullying that seems to rule the non-discussions and non-debates that we beat each other with nowadays. There's no love - no effort to come together, or to step into even the outermost portions of the middle ground. There's only utter rejection of anyone who doesn't stand on the outermost part of your extreme, and anger, and hatred, and frustration. And I don't deny that everyone involved has every right to feel that way, and has every reason to feel that way. But right and reason don't change the inevitable result. They don't change the hate, or the divisiveness. They don't change a damn thing.
And I knew full well what kinds of responses I'd get from it. Human nature is very, very consistent with these kinds of things. But, underneath that knowledge, there was still a part of me that hoped that at least one person would be willing to engage me in real dialogue. That at least one person would be willing to truly consider what I had written, and then agree and disagree with all the different parts of it based on their merits, and then have a real discussion with me about it - a discussion that searched for the truth, instead of trying to prove the rightness of each side's preexisting beliefs.
That's what a stubbornly, stupidly rigid part of my heart was hoping for - but what actually happened is that not a single person was willing to discuss the content of what I had said. Not a single person was willing to argue against literally any of my points or evidence or experiences, aside from choosing just one to utterly reject (without actually arguing for why I was wrong).
I saw a show once where a cop went to speak at a college full of students who hated cops. And before he even spoke, the students started chanting some slogan or other at him, shouting him down and keeping him from being able to say a word. He had no choice but to leave without speaking. And the students were so, so proud of themselves for "winning" against the "horrible bad guy" who would have otherwise dared to say things that weren't in line with what they already believed.
When you reject the other side utterly without considering anything that they say, and then they inevitably do the same thing to you... can any of you understand how destructive that is? How little progress can be made in the midst of that kind of hateful war? It's a great way to be, if your goal is for your tribe to beat the other tribe to death with rocks. But if you're trying for any kind of goal that involves peace or love or goodness or understanding...
I heard a great quote once - it went something like "those who fight against the evil rather than fighting for the good run a terrible risk of becoming the evil."
And that's exactly what I've seen happen in recent years - what used to be so clearly good guys vs bad guys - non-racists vs racists - has become this cesspool of rigid zealots and bullies on both sides. The racists are as sick and destructive as ever - but now the more extreme, zealous people on the other side beat me to a bloody pulp every time that I dare to suggest that their farthest-possible-extreme viewpoints (and the ends-justify-the-means, bad-behavior-for-a-good-cause methods of pushing for those viewpoints) might take things too far.
The racists never beat me bloody like that - like republicans living in a super liberal area, they learned long ago to be quiet about their beliefs, and only talk about them when there were like-minded people around.
So I end up personally experiencing no bad behavior or bullying from racists - not because they aren't bullies and bad guys, but because they don't specifically bully or act badly toward me - but then I personally experience a whole slew of hateful behavior from the other side. A side that, when I was a kid, were so obviously, clearly the good guys - but they aren't anymore. One side leaves me alone, and the other side beats me bloody... so I ask you - what direction do you think that's going to move me in? Which side do you think that's going to make me so disgusted with that I want to fight against it, even if it means moving closer to the other side?
It amazes the hell out of me that someone like Martin Luther King was actually able to exist and to build such a huge following - a guy who was somehow able to take all of that anger and frustration, and to get people to defy their natures and to actually channel it in the direction of love. In the direction of changing the hearts of the other side, instead of screaming at the other side and throwing rocks at them. How the hell did he even do it? How in the world could he take human nature - a nature that seems to only know how to rigidly divide and then punch the other side in the face - and turn it in a direction designed not to destroy the other side, but to teach their hearts and their minds to feel love and compassion in new ways. To build bridges, instead of burning them. To answer hate with love, and thereby destroy that hate, rather than answering hate with hate, and thus encouraging both sides to hate all the more.
I see none of that now, amid the viciousness and zealotry and bullying that seems to rule the non-discussions and non-debates that we beat each other with nowadays. There's no love - no effort to come together, or to step into even the outermost portions of the middle ground. There's only utter rejection of anyone who doesn't stand on the outermost part of your extreme, and anger, and hatred, and frustration. And I don't deny that everyone involved has every right to feel that way, and has every reason to feel that way. But right and reason don't change the inevitable result. They don't change the hate, or the divisiveness. They don't change a damn thing.
