Party Of Tolerance Holds Nationwide Parade Celebrating Death Of Political Enemy

The party of love, peace, and tolerance held nationwide parades today to celebrate the death of a political enemy.

Democratic Party members announced that out of their abundance of tolerance and love for others, they would be launching fireworks and marching through the streets to rejoice over a man's death because they disagreed with his political views.

"The intolerant bigot is dead! Woo-hoo!" cried local Democrat Julia Harmon. "With another enemy deceased, we are one step closer to a country where every human being is valued and respected. If only we could kill them all, we'd have peace and tolerance at last. Still, one dead conservative is worth throwing a 'Love Is Love' block party. Score one for inclusivity!"

Thousands of Democrats prepared compassionate messages on posters such as "Good Riddance" and "Enjoy Hell." Organizers said the events would feature face painting, bounce houses for children, and a piñata for people to smack the dead man in effigy. "It's so beautiful. We wrote 'LOVE WINS' on the stick that you can beat the dead man's likeness with," said organizer Sheila McMath. "With this man's death, we are one step closer to ending hatred in America forever."

At publishing time, parade organizers had briefly paused festivities to denounce the other side for "bringing so much division into America."