Rape Allegations Mar Reputation Of Local Nazi

A promising political career has been abruptly cut short after rape allegations have sadly marred the reputation of a local Nazi.

Senatorial candidate Graham Platner has canceled several events in the lead up to the election, and may even withdraw from the race entirely, as accusations of sexual assault appear to show the Nazi in a bad light.

"It's really unfair that Platner's reputation is ruining it for other Nazis," said Bob Rommel, local chef and Nazi enthusiast. "Now everyone's going to think Nazis are bad."

Platner has repeatedly denied the allegations against him despite the fact he has a tattoo on his chest that says "Rape". According to him, he thought it was French for "Rápé", a word that doesn't even exist.

Democrats who previously held Platner up as an example of great moral character, are pulling their endorsements now that it appears the Nazi they supported has committed a sex crime.

"I never would have thought this nice Nazi fellow could be capable of so much evil," said Senator Elizabeth Warren. "It just goes to show, you never really know what's in a Nazi's heart."

At publishing time, Graham Platner had reportedly fled the country to Argentina.