Democrats Warn That Ban On Islamic Immigration May Delay Global Intifada

An executive order banning immigration from several Muslim-majority countries compelled Democratic lawmakers to voice concerns that this may delay the global intifada.

"It is the right of every American to endorse global intifada and murder Jews," Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer said, in light of the executive order. "President Trump, in this authoritarian executive order, has proven himself anti-American by limiting the freedom of Americans and immigrants to engage in and call for Palestinian violence."

According to sources, the global intifada is an international call for violence against Jews, Zionists, infidels, and the entire Western world.

Trump responded to Democrats simply. "Yes, it's by design," Trump said. "I have a no intifada policy. It's bad news, folks. Nobody wants intifada, it's terrible. No one likes it. Except for Ilhan Omar, who is garbage and needs to be sent back to Somalia, where she belongs."

Representative Ilhan Omar, herself responsible for a localized intifada in Minnesota, called Trump's objection to being murdered disgraceful. "Not wanting global violence is racist," she said. "I'm so embarrassed to be in this country."

At publishing time, a group of international terrorists were sadly turned away from their flight headed to New York, forcing them to delay mass murder to next year.