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Chicago Kicks Off Holiday Season By Unveiling Festive Red And Green Crime-Scene Tape

Residents of the Windy City noticed that it was beginning to look a lot like Christmas these days, as the Chicago Police Department kicked off the holiday season by unveiling festive red and green crime scene tape.

The tell-tale yuletide sign began popping up around town early this year, as the police couldn't wait until after Thanksgiving to start cordoning off scenes of horrific murders and blood-stained street corners with tape that was noticeably more decorative and Christmas-y.

"It brings a little bit of joy and childlike nostalgia to every deadly shooting," said Chicago Police Department spokesman Sergeant Ray Chapman. "People spend all year looking forward to the holidays, so it only makes sense to usher in the season with our festive Christmas-themed crime scene tape. It may read, ‘Police Line — Do Not Cross' in a literal sense, but what it really means is, ‘Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!'"

Local gang members likewise expressed warm and fuzzy feelings with each violent crime they commit. "Shooting up neighborhoods and killing people is different this time of year," said Jose Marquez, spokesgangster for the Latin Kings street gang. "When you see that Christmas crime scene tape go up, you know every bullet was like a heartfelt gift given to someone special. It's like we're Santa, and instead of Christmas cheer, we're spreading death, yo."

At publishing time, Chicago Mayor Brandon Johnson announced that the city would jump on the festive bandwagon by donating a new toy to Toys for Tots for every murder in the month of December.

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ElwoodBlues · M

@sunsporter1649 It's SAD that you get all your "facts" from cartoons and satire sites.

Meanwhile, firearms have been the leading cause of death for US children and teens since 2020, representing 19% of all deaths for children 18 years and younger in 2021.

America's gun homicides in perspective 2020

homicide rate vs OECD

per capita gun deaths by state red vs blue

Gun homicide rates in our 300 most populous cities; separated into red vs blue states

https://www.americanprogressaction.org/article/cities-in-blue-states-experiencing-larger-declines-in-gun-violence-in-2023/

WOW! Cities in blue states tend to be safer!! Proving that gun safety laws work!!

@ItsMeMorgue

sunsporter1649 · 70-79, M

@ElwoodBlues And what else did john podesta tell you?

ItsMeMorgue · 46-50, F

@ElwoodBlues I love how the senile @sunsporter1649 completely ignores facts and skips straight to insults.

sunsporter1649 · 70-79, M

@ItsMeMorgue LOL, yup, podesta is an insult to Life, Liberty, and the American way

ElwoodBlues · M

@ItsMeMorgue sunstroke, as he's affectionately known around here, loves to try and change the subject away from facts that upset his narrow little worldview.

@sunsporter1649 Here's what St Ronald of Reagan said to me:

Our nation is a nation of immigrants. More than any other country, our strength comes from our own immigrant heritage and our capacity to welcome those from other lands.

... Illegal immigrants in considerable numbers have become productive members of our society and are a basic part of our work force. Those who have established equities in the United States should be recognized and accorded legal status. At the same time, in so doing, we must not encourage illegal immigration.

-- Ronald Reagan, Jul 30 1981, Statement on United States Immigration and Refugee Policy

Other countries may seek to compete with us; but in one vital area, as a beacon of freedom and opportunity that draws the people of the world, no country on earth comes close.

This, I believe, is one of the most important sources of America's greatness. We lead the world because, unique among nations, we draw our people -- our strength -- from every country and every corner of the world. And by doing so we continuously renew and enrich our nation.

... Thanks to each wave of new arrivals to this land of opportunity, we're a nation forever young, forever bursting with energy and new ideas, and always on the cutting edge, always leading the world to the next frontier. This quality is vital to our future as a nation. If we ever closed the door to new Americans, our leadership in the world would soon be lost.

newjaninev2 · 56-60, F

@sunsporter1649

And what else...

I'll tell you what your post just told me... you're not worth a minute of anyone's attention.

sunsporter1649 · 70-79, M

@ElwoodBlues Now include the stats from california, illinois, washington state, oregon, new youk, and masstwoshits and I will try and buy into your bullschiff

ElwoodBlues · M

@sunsporter1649 requests

Now include the stats from california, illinois, washington state, oregon, new youk, and mass

Ah, your famous reading comprehension deficits show up again. I did post those stats. Every state is there. Here, I'll repost for you:

Meanwhile, firearms have been the leading cause of death for US children and teens since 2020, representing 19% of all deaths for children 18 years and younger in 2021.

per capita gun deaths by state red vs blue

Gun homicide rates in our 300 most populous cities; separated into red vs blue states

sunsporter1649 · 70-79, M

@ElwoodBlues You know, and I know you know, that those "statistics" are voluntary submitted, and are not reflective of the true picture, since some police departments do not report statistics to the feds. Nice try, though, you are creative

ElwoodBlues · M

@sunsporter1649 Nice conspiracy theory, but it fails.

Police departments covering over 94% of Americans submitted data for the 2023 report, and more than 16,000 agencies covered 95.6% of the U.S. population for the 2024 report.

Yep, only departments representing 5% of the population failed to submit crime data to FBI uniform crime reporting. Now show us your statistical argument that those 5% make all the difference.

Meanwhile, firearms have been the leading cause of death for US children and teens since 2020, representing 19% of all deaths for children 18 years and younger in 2021.

per capita gun deaths by state red vs blue

Gun homicide rates in our 300 most populous cities; separated into red vs blue states

sunsporter1649 · 70-79, M

@ElwoodBlues

ElwoodBlues · M

@sunsporter1649 Look who's cherry picking and playing games with statistics🤣😂

You are barking up the wrong tree, sunstroke!!

Data on all deaths is collected by the CDC;s National Vital Statistics system using death certificates. And in particular, homicide data is accumulated by the CDC National Violent Death Reporting System (NVDRS).

The FBI crime reporting totals may not include every parking ticked or noise complaint, but the stats on homicides are much more complete.

Nice try, attempting to deceive with data that's incomplete on minor crimes!! We're talking about homicide here, sunstroke.

Meanwhile, firearms have been the leading cause of death for US children and teens since 2020, representing 19% of all deaths for children 18 years and younger in 2021.

per capita gun deaths by state red vs blue

Gun homicide rates in our 300 most populous cities; separated into red vs blue states

sunsporter1649 · 70-79, M

@ElwoodBlues LOL, yeah, we know, someone with a bullet thru the heart and run over by a truck with the kung flu in their system is counted as a kung flu death, right? Anyone can play with numbers to get any result they want, such as 2+2=5

ItsMeMorgue · 46-50, F

@sunsporter1649 I'm sorry, are you trying to win a bet on how many lies you can cram into a single comment?

newjaninev2 · 56-60, F

@ItsMeMorgue He has learned that from his king