Do You Have What It Takes To Be A Professional Journalist? Here Are 9 Qualifications
Burning desire to seek the truth: And if the truth you discover isn't what you were hoping, just come up with something else.
Have an IQ no higher than 45: Any more than that, and CNN won't even consider you.
Be OK working for peanuts: That's not a metaphor, media companies are struggling so much they can't compensate you with money.
Possess an undying desire to rid the world of the evil that is the United States: You can't just allow freedom and democracy to keep running roughshod over the world.
Ability to pass a lie detector test while lying: It's a skill possessed by the greatest reporters.
Willingness to be verbally abused by Donald Trump: Even though most of it is probably true.
Be a hot blonde woman in a tight dress: This tip is specifically for people wanting to work at Fox News.
No actual training in reporting facts: You don't want actual news to get in the way of telling your predetermined story.
Be a registered Democrat: This is the most important one.
Have an IQ no higher than 45: Any more than that, and CNN won't even consider you.
Be OK working for peanuts: That's not a metaphor, media companies are struggling so much they can't compensate you with money.
Possess an undying desire to rid the world of the evil that is the United States: You can't just allow freedom and democracy to keep running roughshod over the world.
Ability to pass a lie detector test while lying: It's a skill possessed by the greatest reporters.
Willingness to be verbally abused by Donald Trump: Even though most of it is probably true.
Be a hot blonde woman in a tight dress: This tip is specifically for people wanting to work at Fox News.
No actual training in reporting facts: You don't want actual news to get in the way of telling your predetermined story.
Be a registered Democrat: This is the most important one.
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