Kilmar Abrego Garcia Just One Away From Free Burrito On His Deportation Punch Card
As the Trump administration prepared to make another attempt to send a dangerous foreigner with a criminal record out of the country, news broke that Kilmar Abrego Garcia was allegedly just one away from a free burrito on his deportation punch card.
The native of El Salvador had been the subject of intense media scrutiny after multiple run-ins with the law and repeated deportations and returns to the U.S., with sources now revealing that Abrego Garcia was excited that he was finally nearing the completion of his deportation punch card to score a free burrito.
"It's what all of this has been about from day one," said one insider. "There's been a lot of talk about him being involved in various kinds of criminal schemes and domestic incidents, but the truth is that this all stems from his love for burritos. Once he found out that he could get a free burrito if he got deported enough times, that put a clear goal in his mind. Now, he's almost there."
Reports from the Baltimore ICE office indicated that Abrego Garcia had admitted to federal agents that he would stop trying to re-enter the country once he finally got his free burrito. "He's just as tired of this as we are," one agent said. "From what his legal representation has told us, he'll be fine getting shipped off to Uganda or wherever else as long as he's got that free burrito in his hand."
At publishing time, Abrego Garcia had reportedly warned officials that he would come back to the U.S. if they failed to put enough salsa packets in the bag with his burrito.
The native of El Salvador had been the subject of intense media scrutiny after multiple run-ins with the law and repeated deportations and returns to the U.S., with sources now revealing that Abrego Garcia was excited that he was finally nearing the completion of his deportation punch card to score a free burrito.
"It's what all of this has been about from day one," said one insider. "There's been a lot of talk about him being involved in various kinds of criminal schemes and domestic incidents, but the truth is that this all stems from his love for burritos. Once he found out that he could get a free burrito if he got deported enough times, that put a clear goal in his mind. Now, he's almost there."
Reports from the Baltimore ICE office indicated that Abrego Garcia had admitted to federal agents that he would stop trying to re-enter the country once he finally got his free burrito. "He's just as tired of this as we are," one agent said. "From what his legal representation has told us, he'll be fine getting shipped off to Uganda or wherever else as long as he's got that free burrito in his hand."
At publishing time, Abrego Garcia had reportedly warned officials that he would come back to the U.S. if they failed to put enough salsa packets in the bag with his burrito.
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