American Hostages In Gaza Disguise Themselves As MS-13 Gang Members So Democrats Will Fight To Bring Them Home

In a desperate attempt to return to family and friends they haven't seen in over a year and a half, American hostages being held by Hamas reportedly disguised themselves as MS-13 gang members so Democrats would fight to bring them home to the U.S.

After being held captive since late 2023 with little sign of their elected officials being motivated to bring them home, sources said the Americans still in the custody of Hamas had devised a clever plan to cover themselves in MS-13 tattoos so congressional Democrats would advocate for them.

"Maybe this will make us less invisible," one American hostage said in a message smuggled out from his secret location. "We've been away from our families and friends for over a year and a half, and we just really want to be set free. We heard Democrats are actually flying to El Salvador to try to bring that MS-13 gang member back to America, so we figured this was worth a shot."

Upon hearing reports that people matching the description of MS-13 gang members were being held prisoner in Gaza, congressional Democrats sprang into action. "Bring them home now!" said an impassioned Senator Chris Van Hollen of Maryland. "If they're members of MS-13, they belong here. I am demanding that they be brought to the United States immediately so they can be with the rest of their gang."

At publishing time, American hostages in Gaza were working on a backup plan to stab some high school students so they could raise enough crowdfunded money to pay for their own release.

FrogManSometimesLooksBothWays · M

That passage is a piece of satire, most likely originating from a conservative-leaning outlet such as The Babylon Bee. It's written to mock perceived Democratic immigration policies by exaggerating a fictional scenario where Democrats supposedly show more concern for MS-13 gang members than for American hostages held by Hamas. It’s not reporting; it’s political parody.

To be absolutely clear:

There is no evidence that American hostages in Gaza disguised themselves as MS-13 gang members.

Senator Chris Van Hollen has made no such statements.

MS-13 (Mara Salvatrucha) is a transnational criminal gang, not a protected group in U.S. immigration policy.

The story is not factual and should not be taken as real news.

If you're sharing it for commentary or critique, fine. But if anyone is reading it literally, it's important to clarify it's satirical fiction designed to provoke or entertain, not to inform.