8 More Rulings Being Handed Down By Federal Judges
"Gulf of America must be changed back to Gulf of Mexico": As it has been called from time immemorial.
"Owning a Tesla is unconstitutional": Burning a Tesla, on the other hand, is protected free speech.
"Tim Walz is straight": This overturned a lower court decision that had declared Walz really, really gay.
"Trump is not allowed to move his head during the next assassination attempt": Any attempts to evade death are unauthorized and therefore unconstitutional.
"Israel must return all hostages to Gaza": They were kidnapped fair and square.
"I hereby order Danny Miller from my fourth-grade class to apologize for calling me a 'wiener' in 1974": You had better say you're sorry, Danny.
"DOGE must restore inefficiencies to all government agencies": Every department of the federal government has the right to egregiously waste taxpayer dollars.
"Jesus must uncrush the head of the serpent": A judge ruled in favor of sin and death that their destruction was unlawful and therefore null and void.
"Owning a Tesla is unconstitutional": Burning a Tesla, on the other hand, is protected free speech.
"Tim Walz is straight": This overturned a lower court decision that had declared Walz really, really gay.
"Trump is not allowed to move his head during the next assassination attempt": Any attempts to evade death are unauthorized and therefore unconstitutional.
"Israel must return all hostages to Gaza": They were kidnapped fair and square.
"I hereby order Danny Miller from my fourth-grade class to apologize for calling me a 'wiener' in 1974": You had better say you're sorry, Danny.
"DOGE must restore inefficiencies to all government agencies": Every department of the federal government has the right to egregiously waste taxpayer dollars.
"Jesus must uncrush the head of the serpent": A judge ruled in favor of sin and death that their destruction was unlawful and therefore null and void.
70-79, M
