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Looking at the current situation I have decided that I must become President of the World, or King of the World (if you will). My policies are fairly

straightforward.

1. All people must own a dog.
2. Cat's are to be officially recognised as people and be allowed to own dogs.
3.Anyone that calls 999/911 with a cut finger or a sore toe immediately must submit their bodies for medical research (this will include probes).
4. Anyone that hogs the middle lane must be immediately referred to policy 2 with included hair removal
5. 2 pieces of bread with something in between is to be called by its historical name, a 'Sandwich', anyone using any other name will no longer be allowed to buy bread.
6. A horse should not be referred to as '1 HP.' Some horses are at least 1.5 HP and deserve the recognition.

This is just the start, I am open to suggestions.
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Thodsis · 51-55, M Best Comment
May I suggest three more laws.

14. Those who watch soap operas must re-enact the latest episode in their local park.

237. Drilling for mud is compulsory for all citizens.

9 and a half. Cuddling on public transport without suitable rainwear will result in a stern telling off.

Eleventy three. I will become a Duke of Earl.

I await your call...