10 Clever Ways To Smuggle Humanitarian Supplies Past FEMA
Inform them you simply need to stock the boys' bathrooms with tampons: This is the kind of aid FEMA can really get behind.
Disguise all of the insulin as puberty blockers: A basic human necessity.
Hire a team of orthodox Jews from New York to dig an underground smuggling tunnel: It's entirely possible that one already exists.
Carry a Donald Trump scarecrow with you: Just watch all the government employees flee in terror.
Label all of the boxes "Kamala Harris Ballots": Surely FEMA knows all voting precincts are waiting on shipments of those.
Create a diversion by having a meerkat and warthog dress in drag and do the hula: Works every time.
Let all FEMA agents know that there's a DEI training session starting back at base camp in 10 minutes: They never miss those!
Fly a Ukrainian flag from your supply boat: No self-respecting U.S. government worker wants to keep President Zelensky from getting his supplies.
Put on a poncho, sombrero, and fake mustache so they won't stop you from going anywhere: "¡Hola! ¿Dónde está el huracán?"
Tell FEMA all the supplies are for illegal migrants: FEMA knows who gets priority on all humanitarian supplies.
Disguise all of the insulin as puberty blockers: A basic human necessity.
Hire a team of orthodox Jews from New York to dig an underground smuggling tunnel: It's entirely possible that one already exists.
Carry a Donald Trump scarecrow with you: Just watch all the government employees flee in terror.
Label all of the boxes "Kamala Harris Ballots": Surely FEMA knows all voting precincts are waiting on shipments of those.
Create a diversion by having a meerkat and warthog dress in drag and do the hula: Works every time.
Let all FEMA agents know that there's a DEI training session starting back at base camp in 10 minutes: They never miss those!
Fly a Ukrainian flag from your supply boat: No self-respecting U.S. government worker wants to keep President Zelensky from getting his supplies.
Put on a poncho, sombrero, and fake mustache so they won't stop you from going anywhere: "¡Hola! ¿Dónde está el huracán?"
Tell FEMA all the supplies are for illegal migrants: FEMA knows who gets priority on all humanitarian supplies.
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