North Carolina Asks Zelensky For $100 Billion In U.S. Funding

With civilians working hard to rescue their neighbors along the path of devastation left behind by Hurricane Helene and FEMA revealing a lack of available money, the state of North Carolina asked Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky for $100 Billion in U.S. funding.

Though President Biden approved North Carolina's request for federal disaster relief, uncertainty about the timetable for receiving funds amid various obstacles and bureaucratic red tape, the state's officials decided to go directly to the man with more U.S. taxpayer dollars than anyone else.

"He's the man with the money," said North Carolina Governor Roy Cooper. "I have a lot of faith in the Biden administration to provide us with help, but we simply can't afford to wait around while the federal government drags its feet. If we want the level of U.S. funding we need to help with relief efforts, we need to go where all the money is. I knew I had to get Zelensky on the phone right away."

A source within the Ukrainian government disclosed that it may be difficult to come up with the amount of funding North Carolina needs. "We would be happy to help," the source said. "We just need to figure out where all the money went. There's been so much of it over the last few years that it's hard to keep track of it. North Carolina can be sure that we will get back to them as soon as we can."

At publishing time, North Carolina had sent an urgent plea to the Taliban asking if it had any spare U.S. military helicopters it could have to help rescue hurricane victims.

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IM5688 · 61-69, M

A source within the Ukrainian government disclosed that it may be difficult to come up with the amount of funding North Carolina needs. "We would be happy to help," the source said. "We just need to figure out where all the money went.
That's been the problem all along. No one knows where all these billions that we sent there have gone or been used for. There has been no accountability for those funds.
As for "North Carolina can be sure that we will get back to them as soon as we can," Don't hold your breath waiting.

newjaninev2 · 56-60, F

@IM5688 Umm... do you think that the US sends actual money - that would need a lot of suitcases! - or that a bank transfer happens?
Surely not.
The money never leaves the US, and in fact most of it by far is spent in the US

IM5688 · 61-69, M

@newjaninev2 Even if it doesn't leave the US, (which is highly unlikely seeing that all of these politicos have enriched themselves so well,) the US taxpayer is still given the debt to repay.

newjaninev2 · 56-60, F

@IM5688 The US military has enormous stocks of surplus and obsolete weapons. Disposing of those weapons is stunningly expensive, and then they need to be replaced with new stocks of weapons which are more advanced and more expensive than the old weapons.

This is 'business as usual' for the US military. It's also why supplies and equipment are left behind when America exits from a combat zone... it's less expensive to abandon the stuff and replace it with new stuff than to pack it up, transport it, and then have to dispose of it at home because it has become obsolete.

So America sends Ukraine munitions and logistics which will soon need to be disposed of or replaced. The funds allocated 'for Ukraine' are used to design, manufacture, and deploy, new, more advanced, shiny, supersexycool, weapons. Those new weapons are designed and made in America by American workers earning American wages and paying American taxes.

Meanwhile, the Ukrainians can happily continue kicking seven kinds of doggy doo-doo out of the russian barbarians by using America's obsolete and surplus weapons... as they have been doing for the last 956 days