Should teachers and schools be allowed to keep information about a student's pronouns or gender identity from parents?

Poll - Total Votes: 33

Yes. The child's health and well being are more important than the parent being informed.

No. Parents should get to know this information even if that puts some kids at risk.

You can only vote on one answer.

Personally I think that right now it is for a child's safety that their choice of pronouns or expressed gender identity not be relayed to the parents.
Why?
Because if the child wanted their parents to know then they would tell them. The child might not feel comfortable telling their parent just because it's awkward but it could also be a much more substantial fear of repercussions, punishment or even harm.

You have only to see how some people in this debate advocate hate and even execution to understand why it is worrying to out a trans child to certain kinds of parent.

It's just so gross how this issue has been weaponized by the political right to get cheap votes.
Just following the ol playbook "If you don't have policy, target a minority" lol

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Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Whatever happened to kids just being kids ?
When did all this 'preferred gender pronoun' stuff ever become relevant to the education of children ?
And why ?
Who does it serve ?

It's hard enough that youngsters have to go through all the puberty stuff at the same time as hundreds of their peers in the same setting.

But must be a thousand times harder if you feel you identify as anything remotely different from the expected norms, but everyone is supposed to make allowances for something you've not old or mature enough to understand the implications of anyway.

I think you can tie yourself up in knots trying to enact policy that you believe is inclusive but may well single individual children out and potentially put them 'in harms way' from the discrimination of some of their peers through hate or fear

SamInAZ · 46-50, M

@Picklebobble2 I'm impressed. You said something I agreed with Not evrrything...just something.

Pikachu

@Picklebobble2

I'm not sure how this interferes with letting kids be kids?

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

@Pikachu Kids aren't adults.
They don't get to decide what they are today and be defined by that forevermore, which is what this post implies, and more so the idea that it's supposed to be some 'moral' secret that Teachers are supposed to either tell parents or not depending on whether the issue is serious enough to warrant it. Or if the school has a 'policy' on the issue that must be adhered to.

See the mess you can get into ?

Let children be children.
If they say they want to be referred to as the opposite of their gender in school, so be it. But also recognize that they may well say the opposite tomorrow.

People have to understand that children, like adults, often need to 'pretend' to be adhering to expected norms in different environments especially if there's the chance of rejection or worse from their parents or communities were they to make it known there.

spjennifer · 61-69, T

@Picklebobble2 So what's the answer, do we make these children hide in the closet like we had to for so many decades? Note that I don't say this sarcastically or critically, just trying to understand what's best for the kids involved...

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

@spjennifer Imagine if you're a school age child. You have to be certain things at school. Certain things at home. Certain things at church......and for most of us we wouldn't care. We're happy being us, even if we don't give the family or school or the religious bit our utmost attention.

Now imagine that same child as gay/bisexual/lesbian as a Catholic. Or a Muslim. And all that goes with that in terms of accepted norms and expected behaviours at home. At Temple or Mosque accordingly.
And the sheer terror many children must feel if they think their sexuality has potential repercussions if those close to you knew about it.

All i'm suggesting is that school should be a safe space for youngsters to be who they feel they want to be without all the expectation or fear from anybody else in their community

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Pikachu

@Picklebobble2

They don't get to decide what they are today and be defined by that forevermore, which is what this post implies

If you inferred that then you are mistaken. It is certainly not the implication. We're not talking about making life long decisions of any kind here. We're talking about not sending home information that could put the child at risk.

All i'm suggesting is that school should be a safe space for youngsters to be who they feel they want to be without all the expectation or fear from anybody else in their community

For sure. I agree. And part of that feeling of safety might be feeling safe to say they identify as a different gender. Should that be violated by telling parents that John likes to be Called Joanne at school?
Because as you point out:

the sheer terror many children must feel if they think their sexuality has potential repercussions if those close to you knew about it.

That's exactly the sort of thing i'm talking about here. Protect kids from that. Let them feel safe at school in their identity even and especially if they don't feel safe expressing it at home.

Let kids be kids.

Queendragonfly · 31-35, F

@Picklebobble2

Whatever happened to kids just being kids ?

Answer: Since "kids being kids" forced hetero norms on to children we let that rule expire.

When did all this 'preferred gender pronoun' stuff ever become relevant to the education of children ?

Answer: Life isn't just about school education. Life is foremost about learning who we are and how we belong in this world. What better way to do that than to give every person the right to feel and identify who they are?

"Why?"

Answer: Why not?

Who does it serve ?

Answer: It serves the person who needs to identify as the opposite of their birth gender since that's who they are.

Just like you wouldn't feel okay or comfortable with us calling you madame or miss or her/she. Trans children don't feel okay or comfortable with anyone calling them the gender they don't identify as.

Try be called a woman everytime you need to hear you're a man and see what it does to your head and mental health and overall feeling about yourself.

That's everyday life for trans people.