CLIMATE HYSTERIA GOES UP A NOTCH (OR TWO)
You may have noticed that "Global Warming" has in the last few weeks been upgraded to "Global Boiling."
If you are not already sweating at this terrifying thought, then you will be dismayed to learn that, following a measured increase of 0.05% in the temperature of the rain that is currently falling on most of Britain, the term "Global Scalding" will shortly be disseminated on all mainstream media.
The government denies that it is considering locking down the country to save lives. However, staying indoors is strongly recommended, as fire brigades will be unable to cope with the huge numbers of expected cases of spontaneous combustion as humans are overcome by the universal heat.
If you are not already sweating at this terrifying thought, then you will be dismayed to learn that, following a measured increase of 0.05% in the temperature of the rain that is currently falling on most of Britain, the term "Global Scalding" will shortly be disseminated on all mainstream media.
The government denies that it is considering locking down the country to save lives. However, staying indoors is strongly recommended, as fire brigades will be unable to cope with the huge numbers of expected cases of spontaneous combustion as humans are overcome by the universal heat.
