I dreamed last night that I was given a Death Note. You know, like the show?

I should probably back up. There's an anime called Death Note, in which a shinigami (Japanese death god) gets bored and "loses" his notebook, called a death note, in the human world. Because it's a Japanese show and a Japanese god of death, naturally, the book ends up in Japan. Anybody can write a name in it, and the book will kill the person named. If there's no cause of death written, the person dies of a heart attack within 40 minutes. The book also reads intent, so if you write down "John Smith" while thinking of your neighbor who left his Christmas decorations up through July, that's the John Smith who's going to die. And if you write a cause of death, that is exactly how the person will die, unless it's an impossible scenario.


Okay, now that I've gone through the boring bit, I shall describe the dream.

First thing I did, I wrote down Brett Kavanaugh, Neil Gorsuch, Clarence Thomas, and Samuel Alito, thinking that would fix the current political problem. Turned on the TV, and the news was all about Congress blocking Joe Biden from appointing new justices to replace the ones who died. Leading the charge to prevent him from naming new justices was the turtle himself, Moscow Mitch McConnell. (He actually was a turtle in my dream.)

So I very naturally wrote Mitch's name in the book, with the cause of death being a stroke while being interviewed by CNN. Naturally, Republicans replaced him with someone even dumber. Marjorie Taylor Greene, to be exact.

I won't bore you with the rest of the dream, only to say that by the time I was finished writing in the death note, there wasn't a single Republican congressman left alive, and the Republican voters were rioting in the streets, claiming that the Deep State had assassinated them.