The way privileged black liberals think

With the country in disarray, Americans continue to turn to famed basketball dribbler and notable high school graduate, LeBron James. Following an exhausting Lakers practice filled with gender pronoun drills and watching film (CNN), James issued a sobering reminder of how far this country has fallen under Donald Trump:

“Ya know, it’s getting to the point where a rapist can’t even resist arrest anymore,” James said to his adoring media. “When Obama was running the show, the police would say ‘freeze!’ and that meant you could run to your car and grab your weapon. Ya know, a fair fight.”

“Also, he’s been destroying all the mailboxes so people aren’t getting their TV guides. That’s why the NBA’s ratings is so bad,” LeBron continued. “And you guys know how I don’t win championships anymore? Well, that’s actually because I’m afraid to do the ceremony at the White House.”

Update: President Trump issued a statement thanking the NBA players for boycotting their own business. “We are happy to welcome LeBron and the rest of the pathetic players in our effort to destroy the NBA! Thank you for joining our boycott.”