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I Write Poetry

Brave

When one falls, one must land eventually.
It's an ancient law after all.
The reason many are afraid to fall in love, most definitely.
Well, now, be brave.
Not because all will be well, it most certainly won't,
But because at times, it will be grand.
Grand is swell, grand means magnificent,
Grand is awe-inspiring and grand is splendid.
Things that a grand are often better than the rest.
A grand piano's immaculate tone appropriate for a piano concerto.
A grand entrance hall luxurious with premium finishing,
And high ceiling closer to the sky.
So if falling in love will be that spectacular,
Why not take the chance?


(plz comment.I was thinking maybe I need to change it and stop with the grand thing)
Raffie · 61-69, F
A bit too grand...perhaps try...for falling in love is to be taken to glorious heights, to the pinnacle of the mountain top. To feel my beloved's kiss in an early morning sunrise, to feel his breathe and desire his touch. For falling in love is completion, is fullfillment and romance realized.... just some thoughts!
Pureblossom · 22-25, F
@Raffie: That's very good, do you write? I can't use it of course cause you wrote it but I see you agree the grand was too much.Thanks, I will have to change it or add more.
Raffie · 61-69, F
@Pureblossom: yes, I write romance....think to include more passionate interactions.....picture reading a seductive romance novel that draws you into the excitement of the moment!
EuphoricTurtle · 41-45, M
I like it. In my opinion I would focus less on the grand and more on the falling because that's where the vulnerability lies and what makes falling in love a brave thing. Like in Jeff Buckley's Hallelujah
[quote]And love is not a victory march
It's a cold and it's a broken Hallelujah[/quote]

Just my opinion
Pureblossom · 22-25, F
@Solipsism: Yea I was thinking that thanks to the Jeff Buckley I hadn't yet heard of it or him.
EuphoricTurtle · 41-45, M
@Pureblossom: The original was by Leonard Cohen but I think Jeff's version is much more haunting. Enjoy
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIF4_Sm-rgQ&ab_channel=AVATARKalkiPresentsTHEMUSEVERSEMegaChannelWorkinProgress]
SagePoet · 61-69, M
Many references to "grand" too many, maybe. Try and find other words that say the same thing, that also can maybe fit (just a suggestion) but I like what you are trying to say. I hear you.
Pureblossom · 22-25, F
@feathers: Thanks 😘

 
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