It’s 5am, I’m exhausted and racked with body aches as my intestines gurgle menacingly at me. How did I get here? Well, it all started yesterday…
My GF travels for work, and had requested a last minute ride to Las Vegas for something one of her stores there needed. As has become the tradition, I didn’t sleep well the night before, but even on just 4 hours sleep the 4 hour drive wasn’t too bad. Especially with stopping off for some road trip Starbucks on the way out.
We checked into the hotel, went down to the food court and both had some wonderful smoked brisket, jalapeño creamed corn and some brisket fried rice…delicious! Afterward I brought her to the store and went back to the hotel room to watch some tv and play some games in my laptop. I patiently waited for her to text for a ride at 9pm, and at 10pm she text to say it would be another 30 minutes. Around 11pm I started feeling pretty exhausted and a little dizzy and text her to please just uber back. I then popped my sleeping pills, and y’all, it was like dropping mentos in Diet Coke.
I spent the next I don’t know how long ejecting everything I had eaten that evening. Then that afternoon. Then that morning. Then the last week. I’m pretty sure I saw a piece of my 10th birthday cake.
She came back to the room, and I could barely even muster up the words to say how bad my everything hurt from my ankles the my thinning hairline. I was still throwing up an hour later as she finally finished navigating the CVS delivery option. And an hour after that as the delivery guy text to meet downstairs. And still when she made it back upstairs from the eventual rendezvous. By the end I swear my back hurt so much from the contractions, I think death was almost preferable…ladies, if that’s remotely what labor is like, hats off for keeping the human race going.
My GF helped me back to bed and gave me whatever she’d ordered, which calmed everything down quickly. Rubbed my poor aching back for me, then started running her fingers through my hair in what felt her version of Sheldon’s Soft Kitty, and I drifted off into a weird dream about hiking the Georgia wilderness.
But, part of what I threw up was the sleeping pills, so now it’s 5am and I can’t get back to sleep through the body pains, and my lower GI is still gurgling menacingly at me.
Ugh 😩
We checked into the hotel, went down to the food court and both had some wonderful smoked brisket, jalapeño creamed corn and some brisket fried rice…delicious! Afterward I brought her to the store and went back to the hotel room to watch some tv and play some games in my laptop. I patiently waited for her to text for a ride at 9pm, and at 10pm she text to say it would be another 30 minutes. Around 11pm I started feeling pretty exhausted and a little dizzy and text her to please just uber back. I then popped my sleeping pills, and y’all, it was like dropping mentos in Diet Coke.
I spent the next I don’t know how long ejecting everything I had eaten that evening. Then that afternoon. Then that morning. Then the last week. I’m pretty sure I saw a piece of my 10th birthday cake.
She came back to the room, and I could barely even muster up the words to say how bad my everything hurt from my ankles the my thinning hairline. I was still throwing up an hour later as she finally finished navigating the CVS delivery option. And an hour after that as the delivery guy text to meet downstairs. And still when she made it back upstairs from the eventual rendezvous. By the end I swear my back hurt so much from the contractions, I think death was almost preferable…ladies, if that’s remotely what labor is like, hats off for keeping the human race going.
My GF helped me back to bed and gave me whatever she’d ordered, which calmed everything down quickly. Rubbed my poor aching back for me, then started running her fingers through my hair in what felt her version of Sheldon’s Soft Kitty, and I drifted off into a weird dream about hiking the Georgia wilderness.
But, part of what I threw up was the sleeping pills, so now it’s 5am and I can’t get back to sleep through the body pains, and my lower GI is still gurgling menacingly at me.
Ugh 😩
