My Answering Machine Greeting As Of Today.

The person you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. However, please listen closely as our menu options have changed. If you are a friend or family member, press 1 or simply hang up and try your call again. If you are a telemarketer, press 2 and listen to our new music called Dialtone. Your call will be answered in the order it was received. If you are concerned about my car's extended warranty, press 3 to be transferred immediately to a special place in hell.