Bitching about my 11 year old craptop [I Own a Laptop]

My laptop is ancient and juuuuuuuust works... Keyboard got ripped out, screen's falling off, and to turn the bloody thing on I gotta rub 2 wires together like I'm hijacking a car... Also, I could literally throw it down a flight of stairs and it'd stay on but even the SLIGHTEST touch of the underside will make it completely die... Like, a speck of dust could fly by and hit it and BAM!! No more computer for 40 mins......... Huh, I actually ain't mad about it anymore.... .It's kind of cute... Like my grandma when she was on a breathing machine and I kept messing with the valves... Hehe, fun times. ┬┴┤•ᴥ •ʔ/