A post about my dogs
It genuinely is difficult when I think about my dogs that have passed on. I have three that have passed on and 3 that I still have.
1. Coco (chihuahua/adopted at 6/was a breeder dog) She died at 12 from cancer. It was the worst day of my life, my first time losing a dog. I dreamed about her for 6 months after and was tortured. One day I had a dream she was lying on my neck. I can’t describe it but it was so warm and felt so real. When I woke, my neck immediately went cold. I remember I grasped at my neck and yes, I cried. But that was a turning point for me in finally being able to go on.
2. Minnie died at 9 years old (dachshund, bought her from a breeder where I live as a puppy) She died from cancer/pancreatitis/ and specifically kidney failure. I wailed at the vet because she passed before I got there. It was awful especially with her having been so young. I still struggle to think about this one. Was over 4 years ago.
3. Princess (adopted at age 2 from same person as coco (Princess was coco’s baby and a chihuahua as well). She lived to 14. She died of kidney failure after being put on prednisone for her tracheal collapse which always makes me afraid of that medication now. They didn’t link the two but it’s hard for me not to wonder. I spent a lot of time holding her and trying to calm her down in the end. She was shaking. Ugh I can’t even go into detail it was awful. But this was the first time I didn’t avoid the outcome and stayed by her damn side. The other two family did. I tried to shield myself and felt so guilty. But princess always would lay on my neck when I’d cry missing the others. And I knew I had to comfort her. She was scared. It was awful.
4. I got Meeka after I lost Coco. She is 8 years old. I purchased her as a puppy and had her flown across the country to me. She is a chihuahua and I think she’s the closest I’ve ever been to a dog. I worry I won’t be able to survive losing her. I recently spent $8,000 on her in medical expensives over a cyst on her nose. I had to bankrupt. But that shows you how much she means to me.
5. Roxie is a dachshund I bought from a breeder here where I live. She is over 4 years old and I got her after losing Minnie. She’s a very happy dachshund but struggles to get along with other dogs. She loves humans though.
6. Nori is the youngest. She is a 4 year old chihuahua. I paid 2k for her from a breeder to a state next to where I live who drove out here for me. I got her after princess passed. Each dog I tried to get a dog that looked like them in some way.
I never forget any of them. I always joke that when I’m dying, the faces by my bed will be theirs, not peoples. And maybe that will be the case.
1. Coco (chihuahua/adopted at 6/was a breeder dog) She died at 12 from cancer. It was the worst day of my life, my first time losing a dog. I dreamed about her for 6 months after and was tortured. One day I had a dream she was lying on my neck. I can’t describe it but it was so warm and felt so real. When I woke, my neck immediately went cold. I remember I grasped at my neck and yes, I cried. But that was a turning point for me in finally being able to go on.
2. Minnie died at 9 years old (dachshund, bought her from a breeder where I live as a puppy) She died from cancer/pancreatitis/ and specifically kidney failure. I wailed at the vet because she passed before I got there. It was awful especially with her having been so young. I still struggle to think about this one. Was over 4 years ago.
3. Princess (adopted at age 2 from same person as coco (Princess was coco’s baby and a chihuahua as well). She lived to 14. She died of kidney failure after being put on prednisone for her tracheal collapse which always makes me afraid of that medication now. They didn’t link the two but it’s hard for me not to wonder. I spent a lot of time holding her and trying to calm her down in the end. She was shaking. Ugh I can’t even go into detail it was awful. But this was the first time I didn’t avoid the outcome and stayed by her damn side. The other two family did. I tried to shield myself and felt so guilty. But princess always would lay on my neck when I’d cry missing the others. And I knew I had to comfort her. She was scared. It was awful.
4. I got Meeka after I lost Coco. She is 8 years old. I purchased her as a puppy and had her flown across the country to me. She is a chihuahua and I think she’s the closest I’ve ever been to a dog. I worry I won’t be able to survive losing her. I recently spent $8,000 on her in medical expensives over a cyst on her nose. I had to bankrupt. But that shows you how much she means to me.
5. Roxie is a dachshund I bought from a breeder here where I live. She is over 4 years old and I got her after losing Minnie. She’s a very happy dachshund but struggles to get along with other dogs. She loves humans though.
6. Nori is the youngest. She is a 4 year old chihuahua. I paid 2k for her from a breeder to a state next to where I live who drove out here for me. I got her after princess passed. Each dog I tried to get a dog that looked like them in some way.
I never forget any of them. I always joke that when I’m dying, the faces by my bed will be theirs, not peoples. And maybe that will be the case.
