People say walking a dog is fun, and relaxing. It bloody isn’t.

I was given the leash for all of 30 seconds while my friend picked her kid up off the floor.

In that brief time the dog went to sniff a post, then went behind me to see if the kid was okay, then when to the left to look at something else - completing a full wrap of the lead around my left ankle.

Then it ran after a seagull at full pelt.

I’m covered in grazes and bruises. Little furry twat.