I feel guilty and evil for what I am doing.

As some of you know, my cats have been hit with parvo. Right now, I have 4 cats, 3 of them are still looking healthy, but my youngest, a 4-month-old kitten, has started showing symptoms.

When I noticed the same smell that I had with my first two cats before they passed, I already knew what was happening. After reading more about it, I learned that kittens almost never survive parvo without vet confinement, which I sadly can’t afford.

The part that makes me feel guilty is that I decided to stop giving her supplements when I noticed the smell. It wasn’t because I wanted to abandon her, but because I didn’t want to prolong her suffering anymore. I don’t know if it was the right choice, but i really just don't want her to suffer much longer.

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DustyPotato · 22-25, M

Update: My kitten has passed away.

After my shift today, I spent hours with her. I noticed she would relax and lie down when I was close, but even in her weak state, whenever I tried to leave she would force herself to stand and follow me. So I stayed with her, talking to her, assuring her that I was proud of her, that she was doing great, and that someday we’d meet again. Within those moments, she would reply with small, weak meows that broke my heart.

Eventually, I was exhausted and went to sleep. Four hours later, I checked on her and found she had passed. I was devastated, and I can’t help but feel guilty that I wasn’t there for her very last breath.

I buried her beside her mother and brother, who also passed from this disease, and placed her toys with her. I just hope she’s at peace now, reunited with them where no pain can ever reach her.