Need advice on my kitty again

@OogieBoogie Makes sense, food certainly does that in/for many humans, and considering her early life, yeah, you may have answered the question.

Her skittishness has greatly lessened, but touch is still avoided at all costs... at least me touching her with my hand. No matter how gentle and slow I am, a touch sends her scurrying away.

She does get up behind me when I sit on the couch, and snuggles in between my back and the couch laying there for as long as I don't move.

She gets up on the bed at night and curls up next to my feet, often putting her head on them, and goes to sleep. Or play swats and bites my toes🤣

It's like she wants the closeness, but she just can't do the human touching her thing.

So yeah, what you are suggesting makes perfect sense. Humans do the same thing... yearn for the touch but their demons can't quite go there.

And she turns to food.

@Ontheroad You know ....I think you might havr hit in something - how she yearns for it, but is too afraid .
Maybe it's her only percieved safe way to interact with you?. ..use the only avenue she can rely on - food .
You know ....how in early years boys will bump or tease a girl to get her attention coz they are too afraid to be open about it....it don't know how to be?

Maybe she craves attention but is too afraid, (or doesn't know how), to get your attention ?

Could you use these moments to try and offer high value treats, (like meat or fish or even catnip (?) in your hand ?
Not that she HAS to take it ....but even a step towards your hand could be rewarded🤷

It's obvious she trusts you so much already - and that's HUGE....you've done an amazing job to overcome that barrier.
But she's evidently pretty damn traumatized .
Seems she's terrified of any sort or touch out of her control ....even though she wants it badly.

It sounds a little mean, but these sorts of moments are good to be used to urge a little more .....up the challenge from passive trust, to assertive trust.

I get that you can't just keep feeding her everytime she does this ....but evidently food is a huge motivator for her.
Id use it to see if you can get her to a actively move towards you .
It doesn't have to be the full "eat out of your hand thing"....but if she even takes one or two steps towards you ....that's a win .
Let the treat fall from your hand and back up.

Every little bit of positive action with positive reinforcement is a win ... One little kitty step at a time ☺️

It's jutlst an Idea🤷

@OogieBoogie I have tried that a few times... with treats and tentatively, she eats them out of my hand. I'm going to start doing that on the regular and see, but yes, I believe you've hit on the problem.

Makes me want to find out who abandoned her and go have a "talk" with them😡

@Ontheroad she eats out of your hand ?!? 👀

Oh dude ..... THAT'S EXCELLENT
Oh I'm so amazed how good you are at this .

I think she was meant for you .....or you for her .🤗

And to be honest ....one of my cats meows at me as soon as I get up, (or get home ....or for no reason what'so ever) ....and follows me everywhere, (even the toilet)....for attention and to be patted .
And not just one pat ....he needs quite a few to feel satiated.
So I put a little stool he can sit on next to my kitchen bench so I can stand there all bleary eyed and half awake while making coffee .....and pat him 🤗

He also does it when I'm cooking 🤷

If I don't .....he gets VERY vocal ....and VERY pushy about it.

I originally thought he was hungry ....or wanted to be picked up and cuddled .
But he just got fat and then didn't eat his breakfast .....and wriggled when I cuddled him .

It turned out he just wants to be scritched and patted and talked to and looked at ....(he has a thing about eye contact) -. Go figure 🤷

Someone moved the stool the other day and he was VERY put out about it and mewed till I put it back 😏

And it took me a week or two to work that one out . He wanted attention ....but a very specific type of attention - not too little....not too much 😂

@OogieBoogie Hey, can I be your cat? 😁 I promise to be good... that stool thing is the sweetest thing I think I've ever heard!

@Ontheroad It's incredibly cute .
He sits there while I talk to him about what I'm cooking ...or how my day went. And he sits there like he understands 😂

He's such a lovely boy .
He's not big on cuddles ...but he loves just to close, and touching 🤗