Today I got to use one of my hidden superpowers.
A lovely older woman was in the water aisle with me when she noticed me stretch in order to reach to the top shelf for my favorite package of water. …every damn week, man 🙄.
But anyway, I heard her say something as I put the water on the bottom of my cart, and I noticed she was looking at the top shelf. I asked her if she needed any help, and she pointed to the jug of spring water she couldn’t reach. She said she didn’t understand why they put anything up so high, which I agreed with. I honestly didn’t have that much height on her, but I had my cowboy boots on so naturally that make me feel like I was a good 6’ tall.
So I go-go-gadget’ed my arm and grabbed a jug for her. She was delighted, but needed two. There was no way I could reach the one behind it since it was pushed to far back for anyone to reach. There was one to the side though that was sitting all cattywampus, so I decided to put the inflated height ego to the test.
I stepped on the edge of the pallet on the floor, grabbed the shelf, and was able to reach for the jug’s handle while she put her hand on my back for support. Just like that, she had her two jugs. She even laughed saying she didn’t know how much help she actually provided because there’s no way she could’ve caught me if I slipped, but I thanked her anyway as we both laughed like we both defied gravity and Walmart’s ridunkulous planogram layouts.
The ego only became bigger as I strutted out of the store and into my invisible jet knowing that I saved one citizen’s day.
But anyway, I heard her say something as I put the water on the bottom of my cart, and I noticed she was looking at the top shelf. I asked her if she needed any help, and she pointed to the jug of spring water she couldn’t reach. She said she didn’t understand why they put anything up so high, which I agreed with. I honestly didn’t have that much height on her, but I had my cowboy boots on so naturally that make me feel like I was a good 6’ tall.
So I go-go-gadget’ed my arm and grabbed a jug for her. She was delighted, but needed two. There was no way I could reach the one behind it since it was pushed to far back for anyone to reach. There was one to the side though that was sitting all cattywampus, so I decided to put the inflated height ego to the test.
I stepped on the edge of the pallet on the floor, grabbed the shelf, and was able to reach for the jug’s handle while she put her hand on my back for support. Just like that, she had her two jugs. She even laughed saying she didn’t know how much help she actually provided because there’s no way she could’ve caught me if I slipped, but I thanked her anyway as we both laughed like we both defied gravity and Walmart’s ridunkulous planogram layouts.
The ego only became bigger as I strutted out of the store and into my invisible jet knowing that I saved one citizen’s day.
46-50, F
