I guess it is

I'm trying to research this but don't want to seek professional help. The reality is i want a woman to take care of, to be by my side throught thick and thin while I'm also dedicated to that for her. But when it comes to sexual satisfaction I'm solely looking for my own. However i don't want her sleeping with another man. I would like her to feel sexually satisfied, but i don't care to give it to her. I honestly feel like that makes me a horrible selfish man. Honest, but horrible and selfish