I've become very selfish. After my friends slowed contact with me, no longer wishing to join in on new things i wanted to try or be supportive because they were so used to me always attending their functions, their celebrations, supporting their new hobbies, promoting their business ventures.
I stopped giving. I stopped doing for others.
I will never forget the 'friend' Who did all the above and called me one day to say that I didn't have to always be Miss Independent. That if I wanted ever needed to talk she was there.
Initially I was insulted, then angry then I realised who she was.
After her I started to look closely at all my relationships. No matter how selfless I was, I was surrounded by selfish people.
People that created drama to get me to stay, people that tried to make me insecure to stay, people that ignored me in the hope I'd chase them.
But who was chasing me?
I probably come across very self centred, a know- it - all, boring, whiny, and a broken record.
But I'm working on that. My life is very 1 dimensional.
So I'm sorry, I have to look out for no 1, be a friend, the cheerleader, the financial support. Everything, as there is only me here...