I Am Selfish

I am trying to learn how to love unconditionally, and how to live generously and unselfishly. I find this more complicated then it seems. There is a part of me that is more than willing to give, even sacrificially, but in my heart I want credit for that. I want you to know that I give. So even in acting generously, I am focused on my self.

My goal is to have a lifestyle that causes me to give time, money and care without even thinking about it. To get to that point where I don't ask myself about the wisdom or the outcome, but rather meet the need and move on.

I am not there yet, but the journey has led to some amazing discoveries. I am finding it difficult to be negative when I am anonymously being generous. I am finding that when I withhold it seems to me that everyone around me is selfish, but when I am giving that I am surrounded by people who give more and do it better.

Much of this still confuses me, but I am enjoying the journey.