The message you sent me....

.....even though this is my message introduction, when someone goes to message me, Please don't message me. I am just here to journal, and I will not be answering messages. Thank you and have an awesome day!" touched me in an unexpected way.

I made the mistake of reading my message requests today, because I have been off this site for years and I forgot the rules I gave myself about messages. One of my biggest self-made rules being don't read message requests. These are the only things in my inbox as I block all messages. Anyway, being newly back, I did read the message requests. Five of them were very nice and supportive and to those who wrote these messages, thank you for being the beautiful persons you are.

However, like it always is, there was one who felt He/She must give me unsolicited advice. I don't remember who you are or if you were male or female, as I deleted the rest of your message. My only regret is that I didn't block you. I won't make that mistake again, if you send another message request. The only line of your message I read was " You have lived your life of leisure. It is time to focus on the younger generations now."

First, I was hurt clear to my depths, but as I sat there thinking about it, I started laughing. A small laugh at first, but then a belly-busting bout of laughter erupted. What you had assumed about me was so far from the mark as to be considered ridiculous.

My life has been anything but a life of leisure. I survived 14 years of emotional, physical, ritual, and sexual abuse to begin my life. At 14 I met my Husband and left home. I spent the next 45 years trying to be the best wife and mother I could be. I had to do this while overcoming all the leftover residue from my childhood so as not to pass this curse onto another generation. I am proud to say that this is one area I have succeeded in tremendously.

None of the children I have had a hand in raising ever knew any abuse from me or anyone around me. Not my little brother (whom my mentally ill mom put in my arms when I was 2 years old and told me I was now a mother. She meant it, too!) or my 6 children, my 6 grandchildren, 100's of foster children and daycare children. I have literally dedicated my ENTIRE life to the younger generations. I still have four young adults at home and I started out as a mother at 2 years old.

I have never thought of myself, but I have to now. Even though I am thinking of myself now, my biggest reason for doing so is so I can be around to help my kids through life. If I didn't have kids I would have given up by now. So, please, don't assume you know enough about me to offer any advice, because you DON"T!

However, I really do want to thank you, because even though I doubt this is what you had in mind, you may have saved my life. You made me mad! When I get mad, I remember I am not a weak, worthless, pathetic person in need of validation from anyone else. I remember all that I have overcome and how strong I really am. After reading your unsolicited advice I put in another 5 miles walking. Even though I had to walk one mile and rest and then walk another, etc.I couldn't be happier. My children send their thanks to you as well. They have not seen this fire in me for many years.😁

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