Hey! This is my gf. Ease off, people!

Very compact man 🤔

-blinks-

Bard is interested

Goals 😩

"so i look cool" haha 😌

Very compact man? I'm not sure I like that it sounds like she wants to fold me up like a lawn chair lol Helga better ease off

This is Bard's new wifey.

POV: you're born in Virginia and your ancestry test came back 2% Danish

will she eat spaghetti off my chest though?

Ah, the one that got away. 🤔

lost of words, not saying nothing,

It says she can't read? Contract ideas anyone?

there's somebody for everybody

Finally somebody who will enjoy the whip.

I like the look on her face. damn I’m hot, it says

Only if I can do it naked so she has to wear my saggy balls around her neck like Beats headphones 👏

Ew

🥵🥵