People telling me I shouldn’t want to die makes me want to die more 😆
A few people here understand that it’s my choice and respect that. That feels really good.
But people telling me I SHOULD or SHOULDNT feel or do or say what’s in my heart hurts deeply. They sound like my family putting me down for being sensitive and wanting to live how I choose. It’s so ingrained in humans to fear pain, sadness and death, but I’ve seen it so often, it doesn’t frighten me at all. There’s so much I can’t change and I accept that. I would never tell someone how to live or die, not after the colorful, intricate life I’ve lived. It’s all beautiful. I consider myself fortunate as always to have a choice. And living with the knowledge that I do will make however long the rest of my life is bearable despite the pain. It’s all love.
I watched both my parents die, and very near the end, I just closed my eyes and begged the universe to take them and end the pain. Gasping for breath, confused and sad, I was relieved when it was over for them, not me. I wanted what was best for them even if it hurt me. Love 🖤
But people telling me I SHOULD or SHOULDNT feel or do or say what’s in my heart hurts deeply. They sound like my family putting me down for being sensitive and wanting to live how I choose. It’s so ingrained in humans to fear pain, sadness and death, but I’ve seen it so often, it doesn’t frighten me at all. There’s so much I can’t change and I accept that. I would never tell someone how to live or die, not after the colorful, intricate life I’ve lived. It’s all beautiful. I consider myself fortunate as always to have a choice. And living with the knowledge that I do will make however long the rest of my life is bearable despite the pain. It’s all love.
I watched both my parents die, and very near the end, I just closed my eyes and begged the universe to take them and end the pain. Gasping for breath, confused and sad, I was relieved when it was over for them, not me. I wanted what was best for them even if it hurt me. Love 🖤
