Do you still catch up with friends? Even those that had gone silent?
Now, I'm being mindful with what and with whom I spend my energy on.
I feel I got drained trying to be good to people for years that I let myself be drained in the process. Now, I think some think I'm an asshole for having ghosted them but nah, I don't care.
I also learned not to force two circles in the same mix. Some tend to invite themselves even when you don't want them there. It tends to get less fun. They don't do boundaries, and the age difference and the expectations on social politeness made it hard for the other circle to refuse. It wasn't fun.
So yeah.
I'm taking care of me now. And I realize, not because you help someone means you actually like them as constant people around you. It's my right to draw boundaries.
I'm just putting them where they belong so I can keep a healthy mindset.
I think that the people meant to be around you will find themselves there. And I find I am enjoying my small circle now. Better quality compared to before.
So really, it's not about quantity. I'd even go as far as to say put your boundaries between how much access your "friends" or old schoolmates or work acquaintances or social acquaintances or even relatives have on you.
Don't waste your time with the wrong crowd that you don't want there in the long run. Be observant on what and who drains you and robs you of your time and energy that you'd really rather spend on other things. Don't give and give even if they ask. Say no. It'll take you places.
As for those who tend to insist on taking someone's time, please be more sensitive too. Sometimes, who you are makes it hard to say no. That gives you the responsibility to be the adult and step back and not act like a child when they make excuses to get you to back off.
Thank you for listening to my Ted talk.
I feel I got drained trying to be good to people for years that I let myself be drained in the process. Now, I think some think I'm an asshole for having ghosted them but nah, I don't care.
I also learned not to force two circles in the same mix. Some tend to invite themselves even when you don't want them there. It tends to get less fun. They don't do boundaries, and the age difference and the expectations on social politeness made it hard for the other circle to refuse. It wasn't fun.
So yeah.
I'm taking care of me now. And I realize, not because you help someone means you actually like them as constant people around you. It's my right to draw boundaries.
I'm just putting them where they belong so I can keep a healthy mindset.
I think that the people meant to be around you will find themselves there. And I find I am enjoying my small circle now. Better quality compared to before.
So really, it's not about quantity. I'd even go as far as to say put your boundaries between how much access your "friends" or old schoolmates or work acquaintances or social acquaintances or even relatives have on you.
Don't waste your time with the wrong crowd that you don't want there in the long run. Be observant on what and who drains you and robs you of your time and energy that you'd really rather spend on other things. Don't give and give even if they ask. Say no. It'll take you places.
As for those who tend to insist on taking someone's time, please be more sensitive too. Sometimes, who you are makes it hard to say no. That gives you the responsibility to be the adult and step back and not act like a child when they make excuses to get you to back off.
Thank you for listening to my Ted talk.
