by age 10 i knew i would be living a life of loneliness no matter how hard i tried.

whether standing in a crowd or a small group, the size doesnt make any difference. being treated like i dont exist or im invisible. im ok with this usually, visitors and crowds are very energy draining. but once in a while some small interaction is needed and you provide that for me👍. i was 45 when someone explained there was a word describing my personality...introvert. ive tried to change, but nothing seems to help draw friendship. romance\marriage has not happened and most likely never will. changing jobs, new neighborhood, charity fundraisers, nothing has changed over the decades, im still all alone. the only visitor i get is the mailman or meter reader. thanks to air condition and technology neighbors no longer visit on the porch in evenings. they prefer the company of dogs, and honestly i cant blame them. hopefully you have good memories of someone if you find yourself alone.