I am looking at thinkers and scientists from my lineage and there are a good few. Known , studied and published about.

And they were all capable of using advanced classical arabic to form their works.

Here I am.

I studied Arabic formally for more than 9 years. I had better sources than any of them.

Though I scored the best nationally at the age of 15, I don't remember even 80% of what I used to know regarding the language and the related linguistics.

I feel like my mind has deteriorated with the excessive use of latin languages. I really do. Especially when I compare myself to my ancestors.

They were all high achievers. Either warriors or revolutionaries or scientists and scholars.

To the extent that even racist Arabs where I live attempt to appease me once they know about my family name and tribes.

I feel too weak, too stupid and too tired.

Did I make groundbreaking contributions? Maybe but not as much as those who proceeded me.

I have to try harder.

But I am also so very tired.