Feeling different

I've always felt different from my family because of the advanced vocabulary I had as a child. Reading the encyclopedia at age 8 for fun. I want to study and read so much on both anthropology and philosophy. I feel like I have to dumb myself down just to feel normal. I read and wrote at a 9th grade level in 7th grade. I try to hide how smart I am by using more simple speech even tho I know smart words that most don't know the meaning of or how to speak with them. I wish I was able to fully be my true self and not hiding my 125 IQ