Because of my fear of abandonment/losing loved ones, I chose people who would never truly be there for me...

I completely get this

Real love feels safe and peaceful. It should not feel chaotic . If all you know is chaos then it makes sense that is what you look for ..maybe not consciously but to you it may feel safe because it's familiar...I'm sorry ..I hope you find peace

I did the same, I stopped all together making connections with people as a result. Ironically now I am always alone.

Jesus won't ever leave you alone and he will never abandon you. Not ever. I found that out, and so have thousands of others. I hope and pray you find the love you need in him and that he brings you great comfort, peace, and joy.

https://similarworlds.com/christianity/lord-savior-jesus-christ/5156295-Transform-Your-Life-by-the-Power-of-Jesus

I hope you come back. You were very nice to me. Just hope this is a break.I will miss you 😢

I do the same!