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I Am Different Since My Mother Died [Being Different]

Without a mother you are lost forever . The world is dark , lonely , scary , uncomfortable , confusing , depressing , horrible , sad , heartbreaking without a mother . I don't know why you left me mommy . I feel unloved and neglected and I have no hopes and my spirit is shattered ... Just struggling everyday ... It's my heart , my soul that cries for you ,.. I feel the pain from my insides ... It's a pain like I can't explain .., wish someone could take away this pain ... I'm really miserable and I keep getting hurt by people . I've always been sad but now I'm just ... I can't even put it into words . I keep getting thrown with tests from God and all it's doing is breaking my spirit and faith further and further ... It's meaningless to think she won't be there so that I can see her smile or get a hug when I become successful .,, what's the point of living like this ? I hate my father too , always have . He made me lose my mother and has done nothing to be a parent , he doesn't even know who his daughter is
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Lucifer · 36-40, M
No, it doesn't feel like fighting. It feels like letting go, freedom, a little determination, and stubbornness. It's a strength that comes with removing your inner power from the world. Stop believing you need anything more, you have all you need within you.
You have to know yourself, so don't rely on external things (or people) to complete your sense of self. I know it seems impossible. I know it seems dark, and like there's no light at the end of the tunnel. But it does get better. Someone told me that once, and I didn't believe him either. But it did get better.
You have to let it. You have to let go.
juiceyangel333 · 31-35, F
Let go how ... How can I ? I come home to a place where there's no love . I always have less than everyone else around me ... Struggle to get everything in life . What's wrong with me...
Lucifer · 36-40, M
You have all the love you need inside you. You just have to learn to feel it for yourself. Your perception of the world is reliant upon your awareness of yourself.
juiceyangel333 · 31-35, F
But I refuse to suffer anyone but I keep being tried . I don't have the fight left in within me . The leverage I had , the love I had from my mother made life easier but now I'm just a mess
Lucifer · 36-40, M
If you think you're being tested by god, and it's breaking your spirit, maybe that's what you need. Breaking down, before you can be built back up. You need to be utterly sick of suffering to the point where you say "I refuse to suffer any more."
Lucifer · 36-40, M
Maybe that's what you need.
juiceyangel333 · 31-35, F
I'm a damaged person that's all , I don't know my worth if any ... Feel good for nothing usually because ... She died on me and guys don't like me enough to ask me out
Lucifer · 36-40, M
That's because you don't know yourself.
juiceyangel333 · 31-35, F
What do I need ?
juiceyangel333 · 31-35, F
I can't love myself ...

 
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