I Am Different [Being Different]

I feel like there's something wrong with me. 98% of the posts on this site seem completely boring and asinine to me. Like, I read them and it's an experience akin to looking at wood-grain lines - it's not as bad as watching paint dry or something, but I still have no desire to spend my time doing it. The same is true irl - most of the things that people talk about seem so pointless to me. I WISH that I could look at random memes or make small talk about nothing or enjoy this texting mentality that seems so prevalent nowadays - but I can't. I wish that the funny, banter-y stuff that makes up 95% of this site appealed to me. But it doesn't.

Unless a conversation has depth or intimacy or something else that gives it meaning, then I just don't get anything out of it. I never have, and I don't think I ever will. It's not a fun way to live, but it's who I am.

This page is a permanent link to the reply below and its nested replies. See all post replies »

JupiterDreams · 31-35

I hope it's not rude of me to ask... but is it possible that you have depression? Sometimes being clinically depressed can make things that way....

BlueDiver · 36-40, M

I do deal with some depression - but not the sort of crippling clinical depression that some people do. I've been there, when I was going through some intense shit back in 2010, but nowadays it's not something that hits me with the sort of intensity that keeps me from enjoying life. Well... I mean, I don't enjoy life - but that's less about being depressed and more about my life sucking and including very little in the way of meaning or joyful activities.