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I Feel So Different From Everyone Else

Three people in my family had disabilities, two committed suicide and now I am the only one left. I continually feel indifferent from everyone else and spend less time with my family. Holidays are always bad and desperately want to feel happy again.
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Typicalpisces · 41-45, F
I completely understand... It is unnerving the way the rest of my family is so different than I am... How can someone not fit in with the people they have been around all their life? I'd rather feel the isolation than conform though... Lesser of two evils