I Am Afraid of Rejection
Deeply Ingrained...
I think that all of my awkwardness and shyness can be ultimately traced to just having a deep-seated fear of rejection. I don't talk that much in class because I don't want my ideas to get shot down or to ask a dumb question. I don't really get along with new people, just because I'd rather say very little, and be noncommittal than to show a little bit of who I am and get rejected. Same goes for girls I happen to find attractive, I could never just go over and start a conversation for fear of rejection. I'm like Marty McFly, I just don't think I could stand that sort of rejection. But even he had a girlfriend!
Sure, I've been rejected before, and yes, it sucked, but I got over it. I lived, and moved on, yet for some reason, I still struggle with this fear, even after having gotten through many rejections. It's a pretty big hurdle to jump, and once I get inside my head and think too much, the fear takes over, even if I'm not conscious of it happening, I just shut down. It's kind of a hinderance. I'm just glad I have the friends I do now, it was hard enough to get past this with them when I first started hanging out with them. And I suppose I should be thankful for them too, that I was able to let them get this far in knowing me.
I just have to keep pushing myself out of the shell, breaking the bubble, moving out of the comfort zone that I create for myself to get past all this. Rejection sucks. But it's a part of life, I might as well get used to it and be thankful for what I do have.
I think that all of my awkwardness and shyness can be ultimately traced to just having a deep-seated fear of rejection. I don't talk that much in class because I don't want my ideas to get shot down or to ask a dumb question. I don't really get along with new people, just because I'd rather say very little, and be noncommittal than to show a little bit of who I am and get rejected. Same goes for girls I happen to find attractive, I could never just go over and start a conversation for fear of rejection. I'm like Marty McFly, I just don't think I could stand that sort of rejection. But even he had a girlfriend!
Sure, I've been rejected before, and yes, it sucked, but I got over it. I lived, and moved on, yet for some reason, I still struggle with this fear, even after having gotten through many rejections. It's a pretty big hurdle to jump, and once I get inside my head and think too much, the fear takes over, even if I'm not conscious of it happening, I just shut down. It's kind of a hinderance. I'm just glad I have the friends I do now, it was hard enough to get past this with them when I first started hanging out with them. And I suppose I should be thankful for them too, that I was able to let them get this far in knowing me.
I just have to keep pushing myself out of the shell, breaking the bubble, moving out of the comfort zone that I create for myself to get past all this. Rejection sucks. But it's a part of life, I might as well get used to it and be thankful for what I do have.
31-35, M
