I miss the ocean.

I miss walking to the ocean.
Not being able to see the ocean whenever i want, when i feel down is making me very depressed.
I just cried because when i'm in my worse moments, at my lowest point, staring at the ocean waves would bring me back to life.

To me walking to the sea felt like walking to a safe place, and when i would finally arrive, when i could see it from afar it felt like looking at a friend who was waiting to also spot me from afar.
When i would sit there it felt like my problems didn't matter, it also felt like i could do anything.
not even the oceans worse days could make me see ugliness.
Not through my eyes.
she can't be ugly
her waves are always beautiful, even in my dreams when i'm about to die in a tsunami.
I hope she kills me one day. It would be an honor.


I dream a lot about the ocean and water in general. The ocean is mostly all i paint.