Sometimes I feel stuck in the past when it comes to sexuality...

I never fantasized much about it, but have been more or less dragged into a few experiences I ended up enjoying. Now my fantasies are pretty much limited to repeating those, but that's not going to happen because the spontaneity and wondering what would happen next was part of the fun. I can't work towards a woman surprising me, and whatever anyone does from here on will be in the context of what I've already experienced rather than discovering a whole new concept.

My sex life for the past years and foreseeable future is reminiscing over past experiences, hoping something similar would happen again, knowing full well it won't, and ending disappointed and frustrated. 🥲

EDIT, as some people asked me what I hope for: I've mostly enjoyed banter and teasing around casual nudity with women, as well as talking about each other's experiences and fantasies. It would be great to meet a woman to do that more with, and who's willing to take the lead in exploring some new things.

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midnightrose · F

So you can't enjoy new experiences because you're stuck wanting to repeat the old experiences? Am I understanding correctly?

NerdyPotato · M

@midnightrose I could probably enjoy new experiences too, just like I never thought I'd enjoy the first ones until I experienced them. But I don't know how to get any new ones because I don't know what I would enjoy exactly.

midnightrose · F

@NerdyPotato I don't think you have to know. Part of learning what you enjoy is through exploring. You try different things and see what works.

NerdyPotato · M

@midnightrose true, but you need to have ideas to take initiative in exploring, and that's what I'm lacking I guess. It would be nice to meet someone who has some new ideas to explore with me though.

midnightrose · F

@NerdyPotato That is helpful. Several years ago I joined a forum that talked about sexuality. We talked about a lot of different topics (it isn't around anymore unfortunately). It was a lot of how-tos but also discussions about fantasies, what people would like to try with their partner. I think being in that group introduced me to a lot of sexual ideas. Some of them began to sound exciting while others never really appealed to me. Some of that comes from knowing who you are as a person. I learned to step a little outside my comfort zone but there are boundaries I won't cross.

NerdyPotato · M

@midnightrose there's nothing wrong with boundaries. I think that's very important even if you get outside your comfort zone. And that forum sounds like it was a good place to explore. I know there's fetlife, but I've tried that and it's really focused on much more extreme stuff than what appeals to me.