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Domestic discipline

Talking to lots of people about how DD works for them I realise how different we all are. What is appropriate discipline for one person seems really harsh and over the top for another.
I thought Id start a post on how it works for us and we can chip in, maybe we will learn something.

My husband and I have a moving contract of sorts. It's a structured agreement about what I get spanked for and it's reviewed periodically as and when we think it's needed.

What I get spanked for:

1)Disrespect, 2)Swearing, 3)Over spending, 4)Not taking care of health or safety.

It's a hard spanking with a leather or wooden paddle and then six or eight with his belt. In addition I might get non spanking discipline such as capsaicin cream applied to my bottom or made to wear a large butt plug for a long while. This is 100% consensual and although I don't like it at the time. I feel it calms me and keeps our marriage healthy and me in a submissive mindset. I also have other rules I'm expected to follow such as not brushing my hair out without him present (he likes to watch) also to wear finger and toenail polish and eat lunch although I don't get spanked for those.

In addition my husband can also choose to spank me for emotional release or as a reward for good behaviour. They are longer and lighter than a discipline spanking and the wooden paddle or belt are never used. It's what happens when I'm very stressed or hormonal. I can ask for that if I need to and that is preferable to letting poor habits sneak in.

My husband also has rules.
1) Never spank in anger 2) listen and try to be understanding 3) take care of issues in a reasonable time 4) be responsible for health and well being or us both.

So that's our contract. It's quite simple and straightforward. What does DD look like for you or what would you hope it to be like if you think this would benefit your relationship?
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This isnt my thing, but i love your post. Its rationaled and well written.
Its not all fetishy and lewd but logical and explained.

I hope people respond to you in like, and you dont get any creeps or post bashers.

If more people could speak plainly about these things, we would all understand a little more.
SW-User
@OogieBoogie Thank you xx
@OogieBoogie I hope to see you back at some point Oogie.
I miss our conversations. Please take good care. 🫂
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SW-User
@SW-User Thank you xx
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SW-User
@JesseInTX it's like anything though, people often judge before they have experience. For us, DD is more like creating a power exchange most of the time.
You always explain things well. You should be very proud of yourself and being a good sub to hubby
SW-User
@nevergiveup Thank you xx
Strict4u · 56-60, M
That’s well written and explained really good
SW-User
@Strict4u Thanks xx
helenS · 36-40, F
I have a question: you could immediately stop the whole thing if you no longer wanted it, right?
helenS · 36-40, F
@SW-User You are a lucky woman and you must be very happy. Please, did your desire to be in a DD relationship predate your marriage?
SW-User
@helenS no, when I met my husband I didn't know I was submissive. He was well aware of his dominant side and had had subs but I had a massive learning curve. I discovered a web site that introduced the idea of DD and I asked him. We have been married almost 17 years now and 15 have been with DD.
helenS · 36-40, F
@SW-User Thank you!! 🌷
MrsRachelEvans · 31-35, F
I have similar rules and I love his hair rule. It shows how much he adores you.
sfish007 · 61-69, M
this is a great post... the key is consensual, and then letting the relationship take its course.. I enforce spot issues, which are similar to the things you are held to.. Especially the "taking care of self" process... I have maintenance sessions monthly, which are lighter, longer, and only hand or leather, as it gives the needed sensations and typically leads to more.. these also can be viewed as more "therapy" spankings, when the day just seems to be too much, her mind wont stop spinning, and i can tell she is on a bit of a destructive path... She wants tears, and has a high pain tolerance, but wants to break through.. generally by her body language i can tell when the demons have been exercised enough.. It brings us closer together - and has been a positive impact in our life..
Klt3sHottie · 46-50, F
@sfish007 Now that is awesome. I want my husband to read this.
th3r0n · 41-45, M
It sounds like a caring DD relationship to me
SW-User
@th3r0n it is 😊
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Foodie60 · 36-40, M
@SW-User I see
@SW-User you are so much like my wife lol
updown2020 · 61-69, M
Well I say what ever works for people .
Klt3sHottie · 46-50, F
Your relationship is so much similar to mine. The rules are very similar. Except the cussing one. I also get spanked similarly. My spanking doesn't stop until I am bawling and truly chastised. And very sincerely apologetic.
Klt3sHottie · 46-50, F
Hello Patientlywaiting, My husband amd your husband are very similar. Our rules are pretty much the same. My spankings aren't always as severe because of our kids in the house and now we have another one who is my son's best friend which makes everything more difficult.. especially since him and my son work and go to school, and I have no idea when they come and go. But if he could bust my butt like that, he would everytime
SW-User
I appreciate you saying how it calms you. I’ve wanted DD but haven’t been able to find a good fit. Your situation sounds ideal - I’m sure it takes lots of work to maintain. I admire it. ❤️
Colormegone · 70-79, M
Is, as they say, what is good for the goose is good for the gander?
SW-User
@Colormegone my husband is a naturally dominant and gregarious man and he enjoys leading so it works for him just as much.
As long as it’s consensual. I hope you realize that when this isn’t consensual, it’s abusive.
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SW-User
@jackson55 not by that alone.
SW-User
If you mediate on Proverbs 31, you will come to a different conclusion as to how to lead your life.

Look also at 14.1
The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish one tears it down.

In particular, 31.27
She watches over the affairs of the household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.

A juxtaposition of the position you and your husband take.
monellla731 · 46-50, M
i need 2 be punished pls

 
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