Anxious
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I am so sick of this winter

Woke up to snow again, not as much as yesterday, but enough I had to get out shovel.
This winter already seems long and in the north we can snow all the way up to April.
It is a depressing thought.

Last winter was mild and he was here with me.
Now all is bleak in both in nature and my moods.
Yes, it is getting slightly better sort of like the weather.
One day all is gloom and the next the sun pops out for a few hours.

I feel discouraged
Sometimes, it feels like no matter what I do it is not enough.
I am not even talking about others opinions
I have learned to listen to but not adopt

It is almost like this winter has a personality
One that teases you and then blasts you
It's ever changing moods make me depressed

It is the first winter in a long time that we have had bad weather and snow on a consistent bases
It looks like it will be a long one
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It must be so hard. I’m sorry
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
@Justmeraeagain I lost my folks and a sister and brother in law. I see how my brother and sister struggle. It’s different when you lose your best friend. There is no medicine for that. This was heart wrenching to read.
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
@InterdimensionalSideEye All losses are hard and affect each person differently.
Compounding the loss is in a 2 year period my two older sisters both lost their partners one to cancer and one suddenly to heart attack.
My folks have been gone for quite a few years now.
We lost Paul's sister 3 years ago, she had many health problems, and Paul's niece died right after he did.
@Justmeraeagain relatable…I lost my mom, dad, sister in law in the space of 3 years. Cancer too, some of them. It hit me so hard, especially my mom. It wasn’t that long ago and I still think of them every single day. It is a very bleak time to have to get through as one that’s left behind. At some point it does get a little better yes? I wish I had words.
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
@InterdimensionalSideEye My hardest loss up to my husband was my mother.
It must get better, but there is no time table.
Not sure grieving ever completely goes away it did lessen for my mother, but I find with each loss I wish I could still call her up.
I don't think it ever gets "fixed" mended,perhaps, but that hole in our hearts where are loved ones should be never completely closes.
@Justmeraeagain someone once said to me..we don’t get over it, we just learn to make a home for it in our hearts. I will never forget that. Wish we could just hug them all one more time. Wouldn’t that be nice?

Sigh, now I’m crying. I’m sorry you’re going through this. And I miss you ma.
Justmeraeagain · 56-60, F
@InterdimensionalSideEye Crying sometimes helps.
I do believe I will hug them again someday for me that brings some measure of comfort.